Meet Dr. Lana Ericson, Project Manager for Material Transformation at Environmental Technology Research and Design, a research lab in southern California. Lana’s a genius of sorts and in her scientific research has developed enzymes that enhance the yield from edible crops. However, word’s out that those enzymes can also turn lead into gold and the villainous Vega Cartel wants Lana’s discovery and control of her research. Was I surprised? No. I just sighed and wondered how much saving of the world I was in for.

Meet Mykola Chernichenko, INS or DEA or borrowed agent from yet another agency – I don’t think I ever knew exactly. But regardless, Myk’s directive is to protect the USA’s interests and prevent home bred technological designs from being stolen or used against the nation. Hmm...I best not forget the part about safety of an individual not superseding the greater good. Let’s just say that it’s made crystal clear up front that Myk is one bad dude working for the good guys.

Myk has come to the rescue of the ETRD and, therefore, Lana as well. During their first group meeting, Lana shows herself to be the bumbling, absent-minded professor type plus hidden sex kitten. When she first sees Myk, she stares at his “unmentionable” parts while those around her attempt to gain her attention by saying her name seven times. As she drifts in and out of the conversation taking place in her lab, she continues to work, while muttering an occasional incoherent thought out loud. This takes place on page nine and I’m already wondering how I am going to make it though the other 284.

Within a half hour of meeting, Myk and Lana are all over each other, regardless of the fact that Myk had walked in the door assuming she was one of the bad guys. It’s obvious that this supposedly very “professional” man really got off on her staring at his parts and the sexual innuendoes begin flying despite the presence of other “professionals” in the room. By page 46 while they're still in the lab, Myk grabs her hand and presses it against his (outstandingly obvious) erection while she gasps “you’re big.” Sheesh. Thankfully the others had left the room.

And, of course, although Lana’s life is in grave danger, she refuses a safe house and rages over the protection assigned her. She will not give up her life or her belly dancing. Lana’s insistence on maintaining her lifestyle doesn’t make her appear brave and fearless (as I think was the intent) but rather as one of the best candidates for the TSTL Club I have seen to date.

Watch Over Me also suffers in the extreme from an information dump of previous happenings in the series during the first 20-30 pages while the entire book is weakened by the telling rather than experiencing (there’s a lot of nasty stuff to tell about the Vega Cartel). When Lana is in a scene the conversation is all over the place. At one point Myk silently compares having a conversation with her to trying to solve a crossword puzzle without any clues. With the info dump and confusing heroine, the reader can’t help but feel like they are searching fruitlessly for those hidden crossword clues as well.

Myk’s character also drifts here and there. This big bad good guy who is working to save Lana and the world’s economy is affectionately calling her “Little Lana” within an hour of their introduction and giving personal advice to her insecure research assistant as well (upon very short acquaintance) - telling him that he is special, his family is proud of him, and that Myk understands why he doesn’t want to be lonely. And then there was the really, really critical planning meeting wherein Myk finds reason to talk about his grades in grade school, finger painting, and his creativity (alright – it’s only a few statements and his sister is in the room but come on). This real man was close to being as scattered as Lana.

There is more that I could say (and am restraining myself), but I think I have made my thoughts clear regarding Watch Over Me without providing even more instances of the insanity within.

At one point, I asked myself if I had missed something. Was this a farce? Maybe if I reread this book viewing it as a farce would I think differently? Well, let’s just say - that is one thing I never care to find out.