Jacqueline Marten’s Sons’
Top Ten “Lave Story Titles!”

Following the RWA National Conference, I received this e-mail from The Sons of Author Jacqueline Martin (specifically Ethan) (about my Daily Reports). It’s clever enough that I decided to add it to The Archives:

“I was reading your daily reports from the (RWA) conference. They read like “buttah, dahling!” It’s true. Laurie-bubby, look at that sheyne punim, Momma and the boys were just plotzing all over the place.

“Anyway, I’ve dragged Mom onto a computer after 52 years of typewriters. So I started cruising the net to set a good example. My brothers and I saw a Romance Reader feature (Deb Stover’s article on purple prose) concerning the use of the word lave. . . .

“In response we came up with our own: Jacqueline Marten’s Sons’ Top Ten “Lave Story Titles!”

“Here Goes, straight from the home office in Norfolk, Virginia:

  • 10: Who Laves Ya, Baby? A sensuous, steamy story of bathing with bald detectives.
  • 09: Dream Laver. Bobby Darrin’s untold story.
  • 08: Laving Longest. A sequel to who Laves You Baby?
  • 07: Live, Lave, Laugh. . . Be Happy.
  • 06: One Lave To Live. Talk about your steamy soaps!
  • 05: Lave Me Or Leave Me!
  • 04: You Made Me Lave You — I Didn’t Want To Do It.
  • 03: How Much Do I Lave Thee?
  • 02: To Lave And Lave Not. Bogart and Bacall at their cleanest.
  • 01: Lave Slave! (This is one dirty book!)
  • “Remember this top ten lave list was brought to you by the feline people at Nine Laves. (Somebody, stop me!)”

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