Update:
Just checking in. How is everyone? I am now living with my unemployed husband and three of our four kids (they’re all employed and able to work remotely) which is much better than when it was just me and Sophie.
That said, my oldest son is still in India which makes me nervous and I find the news routinely overwhelming.
To soothe my nerves, I’ve been watching The Expanse and reruns of Scrubs–still the most accurate show about hospitals ever–and reading romances. (I am currently reading The Ruin of Evangeline Jones by Julia Bennet which is SO. GOOD.
How about you? Staying sane? We’re here for you!
I don’t know about you but I am anxious. And spending the vast majority of my time by myself–my husband’s medical practice is open but I am social distancing and thus just hanging out with my dog. (Sophie is THE best.)
When I’m not working, I talk to friends and family, but I keep just wanting more. More community, more “it’s not just me,” more interaction.
So this page is for that. If you feel like you want a place to chat, we’re here. AAR readers are here. Let’s make this easier by getting through it together.
(And no arguing. This is place for support and connection only.)
I’m so glad you created this! I was just looking for a place to post a general comment or request. I was thinking a group “read along” would be really fun right now. It may make everyone feel a little less disconnected.
I’d be open to anything as long as it wasn’t super heavy or depressing. It could be an older re-read or something newer.
I have been reading a lot of Molly Harper lately as I just stumbled on to her and she has a fun and whimsical style of writing. I have been downloading her funny vampire related series from the library. (Thank heavens for libraries!)
I am lucky enough to to be working from home and hope that everyone else is staying healthy, safe and smart!
Flatten the curve everyone!!
We consider our family pretty lucky. With DH and I retired, we’ve got the grandkids now that day care and schools are closed. All three kids still working and able to do so with limited contact with people. I am very afraid for people who aren’t so lucky – our provincial government is horrible and handling this poorly. On the bright side, I’ve been slowly getting my books unpacked (hello again dear friends) and I see many a reread in the near future!
I haven’t been this anxious in years. I have one child in India–healthy, 29–who is just waiting it out but I have no idea what that looks like or how easy it will be for him to get back to the States at some point. My other three are all together in NYC–that panics me because they’re in a place where the medical system is about to become overwhelmed.
Two weeks ago, my husband moved out of our house to prepare to put in on the market. Now we’re in a temporary place for a couple of months, all our stuff is stored, and I really have no idea what to do. We love the place we’ve made an accepted offer on–it’s where we want to retire to–but the timing couldn’t be worse.
The stock market and the global economy are terrifying.
I feel I am over anxious–like more things will be fine than I think they will–but I find myself, especially since I am by myself for much of the day–really wound up.
I’ve been working on learning how to meditate–I do positive affirmations when I get tense.
What other coping skills work for youall?
In addition to reading, I’m doing/learning something new. https://nyti.ms/2xI41DI
Tried baking this loaf of bread . . . amazingly, unbelievably simple to make. It can be made in any pan (as long as you have a lid for it). I’ve made it in the oven in my kitchen and in an electric roaster on the patio (as long as you can keep the temp to 425 degrees). You can freeze the raw dough or finished loaves. Amazing, truly.
I wish I’d had this recipe/technique when my son was young. Didn’t come across it until a few years ago.
Turn off the TV/social media/news (or severely limit daily consumption). Turn on music. Adding quilting, crossword and jigsaw puzzles, yoga at home, looking at boxes of old family photos, checking on my neighbors (many of whom are new to me because we are new to the neighborhood), writing email to people I haven’t talked to in a while. . . . .
One other thought for you personally Dabney because it sounds like we are kind of in a similar place in life.
We just downsized and moved into retirement too. We moved from a large home that we’d lived in for 25 years to less than half the square footage. Clearly not everything we’d acquired over almost 40 years together was going to fit and it was really upsetting for a while to think about having to get rid of things we’d so lovingly collected over the years. Books were the hardest. We had them in every room of the house. Several hundred (thousand?) had to go. I finally just told myself that many of those things were acquired for that particular house, or that particular time in our life, and it was time for all that “stuff” to be put to good use by someone else.
Just waking up one morning and deciding that one thing made it a whole lot easier to figure out what was really important to keep, and what could go. On the other side of it, now, I can honestly say it was quite liberating to lighten up on “stuff”. Hope that helps.
I’m mostly freaked out about selling my house. I was thrilled to get rid of all our stuff! It’s the timing of trying to sell our house now that panics me. At least as far as that part of my life goes.
Speaking of getting rid of things, I have put myself on an anti-procrastination campaign. Today, I threw out a bunch of workshop brochures I had been hoarding for some unknown reason. Some of them were nine years old! Any information I wanted to keep- mostly book titles (because my TBR list isn’t big enough already…)- I wrote down in my dot journal. But the rest is off to the recycling bin after nearly a decade of taking up unnecessary space…
I hear you. Was very depressed about selling a house I loved, in a great neighborhood. And am very glad we did it a year ago. It is always stressful to buy or sell real estate and I don’t envy you doing it right now. Best wishes that it will all come right for you!
I’m lucky that I can work from home. My company is taking this very seriously. We’re a big company with offices in most major cities across the world. Here in the US, we’ve shut down all our offices and everyone has been told to work from home. My husband, however, is still traveling (within the US) for his job, which worries me about what he’s exposed to. He’s also scheduled to go to Mexico to tour some facilities where his company will be doing installations and I’m hoping that will get postponed. Even if the travel is allowed, I don’t think it is a good idea to go right now.
I have two daughters. One is a college student. I had to bring her home, as they extended their spring break and have decided to go with online classes for the rest of the semester. My daughter is disappointed because she just started a new job on campus and still thinks she can eventually go back to the dorm so she can work. I’ve read the press releases, and they’re going to make students move out of the dorm. I don’t think they’ll reopen the athletic center (where she works), so we’ve been having this argument all week. Plus, if she’s living back at home my husband is going to want the pro-rated refund for housing and meals. That’s not money we can afford to write off. My other daughter is in high school, which is closed for two weeks. I’m expecting them to extend that into April, because they have spring break that first full week of April. Then I’m expecting they might also go with online classes for the rest of the school year. We’ll see. She was also going to France on a student trip for her spring break. She’s very disappointed that she can’t go now. The group is trying to reschedule this trip for spring break next year.
I’m introvert by nature. I can handle self-isolation. But self-isolation with my family will be challenging as we begin getting on each others nerves, all trying to work and do school in one household. I’m also trying to manage everyone’s expectations, but that is going to be rough going. In addition to worrying about the virus, I’m also very worried about what this will do to our livelihoods and the economy. We don’t have much of a cushion to fall back on if one or both of us lose our jobs, but we’re still better off than a lot of people. I live in a county with a lot of working poor that are being devastated by lack of income.
As for how to cope, I believe fresh air is good for you. I plan on taking lots of walks to manage the stress. We live on nine acres with no close neighbors, so I don’t need to worry about contact with other people. Spring is in full swing here, so lots of plants are blooming and lots of birds are nesting.
I have been taking Sophie on two long walks a day–there’s a lovely park with a trail right behind the apartment we’re renting. It’s good therapy. And today I’ve decided to work to upbeat music which is helping.
I think it’s the uncertainty that is the hardest. My bet is that all our colleges don’t reopen for this semester. I have lots of professor friends who have no idea what that will look like for students.
I have a terrible feeling that we’re about to enter a new normal. That even when we have a coronavirus vaccine, nothing is ever going to be the same again…and that’s really going to be hard for an old duck like me, very set in her ways and having planned for a retirement in a world that looked as it did pre-coronavirus…but I have a suspicion that world ain’t coming back.
I work in a high school. Our prom was scheduled for last Friday night—and the school board permitted the prom to go ahead, but all other proms (there are eight public high schools in our district and the proms are staggered throughout March and April) are cancelled. All senior trips are cancelled; graduation ceremonies are still up-in-the-air (our school’s graduation was scheduled for April 30). My heart goes out to the seniors who will be missing so many of those senior year events. In our district, as of now, all students are out until April 13, but employees are on stand-by and may have to report to work to assist with on-line classes, paperwork, lunches (schools are still trying to provide meals), etc.
Meanwhile, my two youngest children are supposed to graduate from college in May—one is getting two undergraduate degrees and the other will be getting her Masters—and their university has gone to on-line classes but one daughter still needs access to the campus library for her thesis and the other was working full-time in addition to going to school, but regardless, they both had to come home. They went back yesterday (we live about 90 minutes from their university) to clean out their apartment, but still had to leave things behind (not enough room in the vehicle) and will try to go back Friday to finish the move out. The daughter with the full-time job is able to work remotely right now. I have another (older) daughter who works as a care-giver for mentally-disabled adults who live in group homes. Her job keeps right on going—with the standard health & safety precautions.
My husband—who works in IT/training—is still going to his office because he has access to the equipment he needs. He can do prep work from home, but presenting webinars and training classes requires more sophisticated technology.
As for me, I used to imagine how wonderful retirement would be (my plan is to retire in 2023, but—like so much else—everything is up in the air right now): my husband and I would be empty-nesters and I could read to my heart’s content. Well, right now, it seems that all I’m doing is reading…but that empty-nester thing ain’t gonna happen anytime soon!
I do think we will enter a new normal, though I don’t think anyone yet knows what that will look like. I’ve read that it takes at least three months before new routines and habits take root, and if we self-quarantine for that long or longer, it’s hard to say what habits we automatically return to or what new habits will take shape and fill a void.
I am entirely online teaching right now, but I transitioned to a hybrid of in-class/online years ago and then started teaching some courses entirely online years ago too. The transition is easy for me and familiar, though I know lots of people who are struggling at the moment to make it work. I’m wondering if at least for college teaching, online becomes even more predominant in the future and brick and mortar classes become less common.
On a super positive note, I saw a brief news report about how air quality has already improved tremendously in China due to the sharp reduction of carbon emissions over the past months. If more people decide working from home is optimal, could this lead to less air pollution in our future? On the other hand, will countries just ramp up production as soon as they are clear to do so and in the process wipe out any gains? It’s hard to say at the moment.
I’ve wondered too about romance writing during this moment in our lives. A favorite writer posted today that in the current book she’s writing, she’s finding it weird to have characters physical with each other in scenes. I had wondered about this issue and how this virus might work its way into the stories we read, or perhaps even writing schedules.
Those are all interesting points, Blackjack. I’ve thought a bit about the possible effect on romance stories as well. I remember some authors saying they wrote their old stories with alpha heroes differently than they would post-#metoo. We may not see similar effects in CR novels right away because there are often mega delays in book production, but I would be surprised if the issue didn’t come up at all. Like you, I am curious to see how this will be handled. My prediction is that some authors may address the issue head-on in conversations/actions between the hero and heroine, some authors may hint a bit more about hygiene and disease concerns than they ordinarily would, and others may ignore the issue entirely (i.e. let’s have an escapist fantasy and be swept away for a few hours in Romancelandia).
As for writing schedules, it’s hard to say. But I wouldn’t be surprised if writers became more prolific due to fewer procrastination opportunities. Perhaps aspiring writers might think, “Gee. Maybe this is a good time to finally lose myself in a romance of my creation. I always did want to write a romance novel. And, what the heck! I’ll send it to Harlequin and see what happens.”
Stay safe and well, everyone!
I guess I don’t really worry about these issues much. All I can do as an individual is to be prepared, behave responsibly, and look after the ones I care about. Worrying about the stuff I have no control over won’t help me or anyone else.
But I do hope that this will be a learning experience for the various governments and agencies that deal with this stuff. I don’t think this pandemic will kill millions, but that particular pandemic is coming eventually. Governments need to stockpile medical supplies, have medical quarantine laws on the books, encourage companies to always have telecommuting as much as possible, and enforce rationing of basic food and supplies ASAP the next time a pandemic hits. Our poor planet is so overcrowded now that if we encounter another Spanish flu type situation, billions could die. That’s been my big concern; that we learn the lessons we need to learn from this so we can continue to survive. And all I can do about that concern is to share it with others.
Stay safe and be healthy, everyone.
We are both retired, thankfully, so staying at home isn’t a problem. We have Sky+, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Kindles and probably 500+ books in the house. I think that will keep us busy enough. Oh yes, I have great plans to rearrange my spice cupboard and get rid of stuff that’s probably years old – a job that I keep putting off ;-). We have a lovely group of younger ladies in our village who have volunteered to shop, deliver prescriptions, chat, etc. for anyone over 70 or in poor health that need help. I am keeping in close touch with near neighbours (some are well over 90) and the hubby and I are out walking for 30 minutes every afternoon. I think we will save some money as well: no meals out, no driving anywhere much so saving on petrol and no cinema, concerts, exhibitions, etc. My only sadness over this is that I have had to cancel a lunch at The Ritz in London next month as a friend and I were taking someone for lunch for her 80th birthday for a very special treat. Oh well, money saved for another time.
My only gripe right now is the politicisation of the current crisis. All sides need to pull together, accept there are no instant answers, that those in any government anywhere are not magicians and that no one really knows exactly what will happen next. The old “Keep Calm and Carry On” attitude would help, particularly in supermarkets where shoppers are acting insane and fighting over toilet paper and cans of baked beans. Today when I went for my normal weekly shop there was not one bag of any kind of flour. Are folk thinking of baking their own bread? Why when there was plenty of bread on the shelves.
Sending best wishes to everyone at AAR and good health.
My son has decided to ride this out in India in no small part because he doesn’t have health insurance in the US. That freaks me out but who is to say it would be better here? And he’s young and healthy. But still, managing my panic is an hourly event.
I have found this helpful, in times when I had recurring panicky moments at things I could do nothing about:
https://barefootdoctorworld.com/the-healing-clinic/
There is a two minute video about panic there.
The video angle is very strange, but the technique is simple and it helps me.
Take a look, if you want.
Here’s the direct link:
https://youtu.be/M726-S10zh0
On thing that’s really helped me is to work to positive music. I just discovered this playlist on Spotify and it’s been lovely and calming this morning.
Thanks for the music rec. One of the YouTube music videos I keep coming back to is this beautiful instrumental saxophone romantic song collection by an artist called DiVe. Okay, so it’s called “Sax for Sex Vol. 1,” but I think the title is meant to grab the listener’s attention. It includes some of the romantic standbys like “My Heart will Go On” and “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” as well as many pieces I’ve never heard of before. Here’s the link for those interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUC-AWhdGP4.
For Spotify users, here’s a similar playlist. I’ve been listening to it today and it’s good!
I don’t have a Spotify account, so it’s good when things are available in multiple formats. Happy listening, everyone!
I use Sonos speakers to listen to music and there isn’t an easy way to listen to YouTube on Sonos. We all find a way, don’t we!
I live in Portugal, where the government declared state of emergency. We are not supposed to go outside except for emergencies, supermarkets, pharmacies, walking the dog, helping someone in need, in case of violence happening…
I work in a national monument, which has been closed, as were all others. I’m thankfully working alone in this place so no contacting others. This is a small village too, so it’s easy to keep the social distance.
I still live with my parents and they still work. That worries me because the awful part of this virus is how one can be infected and not knowing! They are not in the so-called group risk despite having just entered their 60s but… how can someone not be worried?
The borders are closed, in neighbor Spain the number of dead by covid-19 escalates and many of the cases here have been imported from Italy, where the number of dead already surpasses China.
Still, some people behave as if this is nothing. We saw interviews yesterday in the streets of major cities… they interviewed a group of older men, in their 70s and such, they were playing cards in a park! One of them said he had been to war (in the 1960s) and survived so it would not be a virus to end him.
I get people need to hold on to their sanity somehow but… the virus spreads silently and that is precisely why it’s been do deadly.
It’s been crazy in the supermarkets too, no toilet paper in sight! Sadly, though, many people overbuy, they buy things while others can’t anymore and then we sadly, disappointingly, see food in the garbage bins because it has gone out of validity… so sad.
On the positive side, many people are helping any way they can and we often see neighbors helping those who can’t leave the house, or who are in bigger risk. Many entities/personalities are raising money and giving vital things to our hospitals.
Hope. Hope is what we should focus on…
My MD husband keeps me grounded with facts. That is helpful. Hope is good too!
I live in Munich, Bavaria. My husband and I are both retired and high risk. My h just lived through cancer treatment and it finally did look good and we had hope again. I live with Morbus Addison and any major infection can end deadly. For a few nights I really didn’t sleep well, but it gets better now.
In Bavaria we have the severest restrictions in Germany and are mostly housebound. In february during a week of school holidays many people went to Austria or Italy for skiing in the Alps. Now they are back and many brought the virus with them what’s shown in the immense growth of infections. Till now we have not so many deads as Italy or Spain but we don’t know what will come. Hopefully it will get not so bad as there. My heart is heavy when I think of Italy where I have been so very often.
Our younger son just finished his studies at university and is living at home at the moment what otherwise is a godsend as he can do all our shopping and we oldies can stay at home. On the other side he is just appying for a job – in a time when nobody knows which firm will exist next year.
Our older son has a firm where he provides light and sound for traid fairs and so on. At the moment he has not one order. If the shut down will last more than two month I don’t know what will happen.
One only can hope that we all stay healthy and the economy doesn’t fully crash.
Another thought: Till now nobody could imagine that one day, in the 21th century, the entire western world and many, many other countries would have to face such a pandemia. We all thought we were safe. Epidemics happen in Third World countries but not with us. Perhaps in China but not here in this developed civilasation where medicine has made so unbelievable progress. What an error, what arrogance.
And yet another thought: We live thousands of miles apart and we all have the same problems at the moment, the same fears, the same worries. It should make us stay together. We should pray for it.
I am very sad and sorry to post this but yesterday an 18 year old died in the UK from Covid-19. I am hopeful that now some of those millennials who have been flouting the strict rules we now live under will take notice and stop acting like utter fools. The young are not immune, not immortal and are also at risk just like everyone else. Behaviour over the weekend in the UK was lamentable and now it must stop.
My three millenials are all under two week quarantine, self-imposed. It’s a scary disease for everyone BUT statistically, they are far less likely to die. The bigger issue is that they are carriers. 50% of those with the virus are asymptomatic and those numbers may be higher in the young.
I’m very much an introvert, and turns out I disliked my job and my co-workers even more than I thought, because I’m dealing with quarantine better than I expected. I have moments of being very down, Sunday was one of them. I am able to work from home, but 70 out of our 100 locations are closed for now, so my work has dwindled. I don’t know how long I will be working. But my department’s leadership – sending “essential’ co-workers into harm’s way just to give false re-assurance, makes me seriously question my future with this company anyway. So being home has been very clarifying for me. The only problem is, what jobs will be available in the future?
Walking is my comfort – leaving the house to go outside is so important. I see everyone keeping social distance, even as they walk and bike. I’ve also made a real effort to go on-line less to read the horrifying predictions; it does not help. I have Lucy Parker and Alyssa Cole books ready to read – I allow only positive stories ad authors into my brain right now.
It helps to know others are in the same boat – strange and surreal as this boat is. I appreciate take-out and grocery store workers SO much more. Yesterday seeing the “Heroes Work Here” sign at my grocery store literally brought tears to my eyes. Because it’s true. I so hope they don’t get sick.
I’ve been cooking more. I made delicious banana chocolate chip cookies yesterday. I don’t love baking but this is a keeper recipe.
I’m also isolating on my days off . I’m an ICU nurse so i need to stay healthy. I was thinking of retiring a few months ago but that plan has changed with the need for health care workers. Fingers crossed we stay healthy.
A group of gf’s and i are having our first online cocktail party tonight. We’re all wearing our weirdest hat or scarf. It’ll be the social hi light of my week
Take care and stay healthy.
You and your colleagues are heros! In New York City the Empire State building is flashing bright red in your honor and that of your fellow health workers. God bless and stay healthy.
That’s very kind of you Connie. I’m amazed at the kindness of people to health care staff. We’ve been receiving meals from various restaurants as thanks. People have been sewing OR caps for us and sending protective eye wear. It make me happy to know that there are a lot of good people out there.
Kris–
Is there a book you’re dying to read? Do you read ebooks? AAR would like to support you! Email me at [email protected].
Thanks Dabney. You’re very kind