Are you looking for a contemporary romance with strong, sympathetic characters and a positive, realistic attitude toward being in love? If so, don’t even think of reading A Lifetime Loving You. On the other hand, if you’re in the mood for a novel filled with bratty, immature characters and latent misogyny, this book should fit the bill nicely.

Nance Hadley has been “in love” with Cory Miller since they were children. She has based her entire world around him – studying computers because he likes them, picking home furnishings that he will enjoy if they ever get married, and generally following him around like a lovesick puppy for the past twenty-two years. Though Cory knows of Nance’s devotion (she begs for him to give them a chance every three months), he still expects her to help him snag Krystal Adkins, a beautiful and unbelievably rude woman-child, by offering her a job at their company – despite Krystal’s lack of marketable skills or a positive attitude.

Cory and Nance are supposed to be best friends, but you’d never know it by the way Cory treats Nance. He uses Nance’s misguided affection for him to persuade her to pimp for him, allows Krystal to call Nance names to her face, yet throws a jealous temper tantrum when another man shows interest in Nance. That man is “Sugar” Smith, a kind, gallant, and charming man who treats Nance with more respect in one afternoon than Cory has in twenty-two years.

At this point I had high hopes that Nance would break away from manipulative Cory, discover herself, and perhaps find genuine happiness with a man who would love her for herself. But no. Nance finds Sugar’s manners boring, though useful for making Cory jealous. Then Cory wanders into Nance’s house unannounced, sees her in her underwear, and decides he wants her after all. Nance at least has the sense to throw him out.

In the meantime, Nance and Krystal discover that they have something in common – an insatiable craving for unattainable men – and bond. In a scene that would make any modern woman wince, Krystal tells Nance she’s wrong to value her brains over her looks. The women in this novel have no interests outside their obsessions with men who treat them with disdain. Occasionally Nance realizes that she’s too good for Cory, but that doesn’t stop her from mooning after him. Nance doesn’t need a relationship; she needs therapy.

Frankly, A Lifetime Loving You, with its celebration of unhealthy relationships and women who love too much, embarrassed me as a romance reader and a woman. This isn’t what the genre we know and love is about – in fact, it’s more demeaning than many books written hundreds of years ago.