I picked A Moonlit Knight because it was described as having a medieval setting. If you’ve been reading our recent ATBF on historicals, just about anything that’s not set in England during the Regency has got to be better, right? Well, not so much. The back cover of Ms. Kelley’s book says it’s a medieval and the cover quotes say so, but absolutely nothing about the story or writing says so. I’m not a particularly picky reader. Minor factual errors usually pass me by. Characters acting anachronistically? Doesn’t faze me if they’re interesting. The problem in Ms. Kelley’s novel isn’t just a couple minor writing errors and quirks; it’s a perfect storm of them.

First up our hero, Saxon Fitz-Juste. Saxon? Let’s examine that, shall we? The Saxons were a Germanic tribe who invaded Britain in the 5th century and were at war with various other peoples in Europe for the next 400 years. Are we really to believe that someone is going to name their aristocratic kid Saxon in 12th century England? Truly? Next up is our heroine, Mallory de Saint-Sebastian. Do I need to say anything more? Other then that all I could do was wait for Skippy and Alex to appear?

Saxon and Mallory meet, fight, lust for each other, are in danger, lust some more, fight, mistrust each other, lust some more, are in love, the end.

I was going to stop there, but my editor probably wouldn’t appreciate that, so here goes. From the back cover: “In twelfth-century England, St. Jude’s Abbey is no ordinary sanctuary of prayer and ritual. Established by Eleanor of Aquitaine, it trains young women in the knightly arts. In times of trouble these formidable women are called upon to protect the royal family and England…” Mallory is one of these lady knights. In fact, no surprise here, she’s reputed to be the best. The queen’s man, Saxon Fitz-Juste, has been sent to fetch Mallory. Someone is attempting to kill the Queen and only Mallory, with her super-secret training, can save her.

Now if Mallory had shown one-tenth of the strength, skill and intelligence, we’re told she has, I might have forgiven the writer for creating Alias for the medieval set. But Mallory isn’t any of these things. I’ll grant she can shoot a bow and arrow, but she ends up being rescued more often than she does any saving. Truly I should give Mallory a break, though Ms. Kelley doesn’t. There’s no logic in the writing of this character or the plot. The queen tells Mallory to travel separately to meet up with the court, so that no one will know what her role is. A chapter later Mallory is whipping out her bow (which is always conveniently hidden in her dress) and letting everyone know she’s there to protect Eleanor from assassins!

I haven’t said much about Saxon yet. And that’s because I really don’t have anything to say. Sitting here right now I’m having trouble coming up with even a couple of adjectives. He’s probably good looking because romance heroes are. And he’s angry or irritated a lot. Guess that’s all I’ve got.

As silly and unbelievable as Mallory and Saxon were, the primary stumbling block for me as a reader was the writing. There were entences and paragraphs that I had to read twice to figure out:

“Mallory was glad she was holding her bow and quiver. Otherwise she doubted she could have resisted the temptation to grasp his arm and throw him to the ground with one of the moves she had learned from Nariko, the woman who taught the unarmed combat of her homeland at the far edge of the world. She would not slow the motion to ease his fall to the stones. Maybe the blow would knock some courtesy into him.”

Nariko? Does she teach at the far end of the world? And did she throw Saxon to the ground? Was it Mallory who threw Saxon to the ground? Mallory’s thinking about throwing him to the ground? And later:

“She wiggled her toes. She had been afraid she had broken one on that beast’s hard head. He had thought she would be willing to entertain him to while away the time until the king sent for her. She had changed his mind for him with a sharp kick to the head. While he had been senseless on the floor, she had relieved him of her dagger, which he had taken earlier.”

After this confusing paragraph Mallory is rescued by Saxon but sends him on ahead while she covers his escape. She then proceeds to pull the dagger, her quiver, the pieces that make a wooden box, ten shafts to make arrows, and lengths of bowstring from her dress. And when Saxon proclaims: “I have been a fool not to be honest with you. I feared that if I were honest, then you would despise me for having been false before.”, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

The name Mallory means ill-favored and St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes. Irony? Or is the author trying to tell us something? You be the judge.