A Perfect Match suffers from one of the worst cases of sequilitis that I’ve ever seen. A word in the ear of author and publisher: the Regency Romances of Jeanne Savery are not so universally read that she can bury her hero and heroine in characters from at least four previous books, and apparently several future books as well, and confidently expect readers to be interested.

Alex, Lord Merwin, loves Artemisia Bigelow, and she loves him. They apparently fell in love several books ago, and have been devoted ever since. They are both exactly what Regency characters should be – if they have flaws, we don’t ever spend enough time with either of them to know what they are. Unfortunately, Artemisia’s father forbids them to marry.

The only conflict between our hero and heroine rests on the fact that her father is a stubborn, boorish, obnoxious idiot. Among other things, this man doesn’t realize that the person who marries his daughter will be his son-in-law, not his brother-in-law; “evidently,” says the narration, “Sir Vincent had never given thought to what the legal relationship would be.” Even supposing that I could believe in a character who hadn’t figured this out, Ms. Savery would have done well to keep Sir Vincent out of my sight and instead focus on Artemesia and Alex. Instead, we must endure Sir Vincent’s conversation for page after page.

Although the amount of time we spend reading about Sir Vincent is boring, it’s actually less boring than the rest of the book. Since there’s no internal conflict between the hero and heroine we don’t need to spend any time with them, so what fills up the pages? Well, this book takes place during Napoleon’s One Hundred Days, and for part of it Alex is smuggling Artemesia out of France (although what action there is invariably takes place off-screen, much like the romance). And for part of it Alex is fending off the sudden and inexplicable advances of a woman named Edith Marchcomber.

But for most of the book, we hang out with Jack and Patricia and Ian and Serena and Miles and Tony and Libby and Eustacia and Jason and Jason’s cousin Mr. Renwick and Prince Ravi and Jason’s pet tiger, Sahib. In one instance that I noticed, the author actually mixed up Serena and Patricia – not that it mattered, since I had no idea who any of these people were. Very frequently, we are party to conversations between these characters, as when Libby goes to Tony and tells him that she’s worried about Willy. Alex and Artemesia are not present, and the fate of Willy, whoever he might be, has nothing to do with Alex and Artemesia.

I cannot imagine why the author did this. There is probably a way to make a book more incomprehensibly boring than to populate it with random, interchangeable people who have no bearing of any kind on the central plot; but offhand I can’t think of one.

If I had been merely bored by this book it would have gotten a higher grade. But I was also outraged by the solution to the so-called romantic conflict. You see, Alex and Artemesia’s decide to enlist the help of Jason’s pet tiger, Sahib, who is sentient, understands English perfectly, and is known for his matchmaking skills. Sahib agrees to handle matters for them so that they can get married. He does, and they do. The end. Another hint to the author – people who don’t have access to magical tigers must use their own intelligence, initiative, and faith in one another to solve their romantic woes. I would have liked to read a book in which the characters actually do something.

Under no circumstances would I have finished A Perfect Match if I hadn’t been reviewing it. With passive nonentities for protagonists, annoying secondary characters, and a solution that is just stupid, there is simply no reason to read it. Unless, that is, you’re a longtime fan of Ms. Savery, and you’ve been wondering what’s going on with Jason and Libby and Miles and Patricia and Tony and Ravi and Ian and Eustacia and Serena and Jack.