I do love a good redemption story, and E.M. Lindsey’s Absolutely Pucked is a very good one. The Punked as Puck series features three ride-or-die best friends who play hockey in local community leagues for differently abled players, and while I loved the first book and wasn’t wild about the second, I’ve been looking forward to this one ever since I learned who the central pairing was going to be. And I wasn’t disappointed – the redemption story is very well done and the romance is full of longing, tenderness, heartache and wonderful chemistry.

Ford is at a pretty low ebb when the book begins. His friends Tucker and Boden are moving on, both personally and professionally, and even though neither of his friends are moving away, he nonetheless feels as though he’s being left behind. In an attempt to feel a bit better – an orgasm will be good for his mental health, right? – he heads to an out of town bar he goes to sometimes to find someone to hook up with. The quiet, slightly unkempt, but attractive guy sitting at the end of the bar is just Ford’s type; he slides onto the next stool, strikes up a conversation and doesn’t take long to get to the point. The guy, Ian, agrees to go upstairs with him – even if it’s just to “eat fried food and talk about why life’s so shitty” – but they both know they’re going to be doing more than that. As things heat up between them, Ian confesses that while he’s bi, he doesn’t have very much experience with men; but what really gets to Ford is the way Ian is so totally unfazed by his missing leg and his prosthesis and how easy he is to talk to – it’s been a very long time since Ford has felt comfortable being so open about himself. Despite Ian’s professed inexperience, the sex is great, and even more than that, Ford recognises there’s something going on that is nothing to do with sex, the kinds of feelings and connection that shouldn’t happen with hook-ups – and he’s sure Ian is experiencing it as well. He doesn’t have much time to think about it before he falls asleep, exhausted and full of endorphins – and when he wakes up Ian is gone.

About a month later, Ford comes home from work to find a man huddled on his doorstep trying to keep out of the rain – and realises that not only is it the guy from the bar, but that he knows him. Or knows of him, anyway. Without the bushy beard covering half his face it’s easy to recognise him as Killian Banks, the twin brother of Ford’s best friend Tucker, the man who had made Tucker’s life hell when they were kids and who had stolen Tucker’s fiancée when Tucker was in hospital recovering from the accident that cost him his legs and his eye. But… there’s something that doesn’t add up. The Killian Banks he’s heard so much about is a high-powered attorney, the golden child of the Banks family who can do no wrong – so what is he doing sitting on Ford’s doorstep, shivering and soaking wet, clutching a tattered bag of clothes? Why had he been at that club, broke, sad and starving a few weeks ago? Although Ford is confused and angry – with himself for hooking up with Killian in the first place, and with Killian for not telling him the truth – he can’t bring himself to turn him away. The guy is obviously in desperate need of help and for all that he deserves to suffer for what he did to Tucker, Ford isn’t about to let him die of hypothermia.

Once Killian is warm and dry, Ford demands some answers. Killian tells Ford that there are a lot of things Tucker doesn’t know, things that he has only found out recently, and that he’s in Turenne because he’d hoped to reconnect with his brother – but that after catching sight of Tucker with someone – a smaller, dark-haired man – and looking happier than Killian recalls ever seeing him, he’d backed off, knowing in that moment that whatever he had to say didn’t matter any more – it won’t change the past or the future. Tucker is doing well and Killian has no wish to drag him down by reminding him of the past.

Ford knows he’s risking a lot by letting Killian stay, but he can’t simply throw him out when he literally has nowhere else to go. Their one night together hasn’t been far from his mind over the past few weeks and he can’t deny that the intense connection that had sprung to life between them is still there and getting stronger – but he knows he’s playing with fire. Tucker is Ford’s best friend in the world and falling in love with the brother he hates could destroy everything in life Ford holds most dear.

Ford is kind, generous, a bit goofy and a total sweetheart. He’s experienced some truly awful things and his backstory is heartbreaking, yet he’s still the sort of guy who would try“to set themselves on fire to keep everyone else warm” – and consider it a good trade. But he’s also stuck in a rut; Tucker and Boden being happily coupled up and moving on with their lives has made him realise that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his. Then Killian comes along and gives Ford so many of the things he’s been missing – quiet moments of intimacy and connection, and a sense of peace and safety.

I admit to having had a ‘holy crap!’ moment when I discovered who Ford’s love interest was going to be, but the author does a great job of showing the reader who Killian really is while not letting him off the hook for his past mistakes and the horrible things he did. He fully understands and takes responsibility for what he did and accepts the need to atone, genuinely believing that he deserves all the bad things life is throwing his way. But as is always the case there are two sides to every story, and when we get Killian’s and the complete picture emerges, it’s a truly awful one of emotional abuse and manupulation which goes a long way towards explaining – though not excusing – Killian’s behaviour. He’s nowin the middle of a very ugly divorce; his wife is cheating on him and has engineered the situation so that Killian has lost everything – home, job, family – while she is taking him to the cleaners. Homeless, penniless and with nowhere to go, he’d gone to the club that night just to keep warm and not be alone, and meeting Ford had been the one bright spot in his life in a very long time. When he realised Ford likely knew Tucker, he’d tried to call a halt to things, but it had been so long since anyone had showed him any warmth or kindness that he’d been unable to resist letting himself enjoy the touch and closeness of another human being, if only for a little while.

Ford and Killian have both been through a lot and they make a great couple. I especially liked their awareness that they’re better for having known and loved each other even though they can’t be together long term, and watching Killian make a new friend in Jonah, one of Ford’s closest friends, is just so sweet it almost hurts. The big reveal is as messy and painful as you’d expect but it’s very well handled, with some real emotional (and physical!) gut-punches along the way, and while a full reconciliation between Tucker (who has done some growing up since we first met him) and Killian is a way off, they’ve made good progress by the end of the book.

I had to side-eye the cartoonishness of the evil ex (plus I didn’t understand how the former boss was able to prevent Killian from getting work in a different state), but honestly, I was enjoying everything else about the story so much that I wasn’t too bothered by it. The author’s disability rep is, as always, excellent; these are people getting on with their lives however they need to and their unique physicality is simply a part of who they are and is never presented as good or bad – it just IS. Absolutely Pucked had me glued to it from start to finish; it’s tender, funny, heartbreaking and beautifully romantic and is hands down my favourite of this series.