In all fairness to Linda Howard, this book was written in 1982. In all fairness to the reader, this book stinks. I love Linda Howard, but apparently she wrote this before she “got good.”

Jessica Stanton is a 23-year-old widowed virgin (that’s right) who owns stock in Greek billionaire playboy Nikolas Constantinos’ company. She votes her shares against his; he gets mad and comes to see her personally – just as her dog is giving birth to puppies. Sound okay so far? I thought so too.

Nikolas likes what he sees and wants to take Jessica to bed to show her what a great lover he is. Really. That’s how he puts it. He nearly rapes her before he figures out she’s saying no, well, screaming, slapping, and crying no. He doesn’t understand this behavior at all because Jessica has a bad rep in the press for marrying a 76-year-old man when she was 18. He died not long after, so Niko figures Jessica’s a kind of a whore.

The rest of the book (I am not kidding) involves Nikolas trying to bully Jessica into bed, her bursting into tears, her saying no then bursting into tears, her saying yes then bursting into tears, her saying no after she said yes then bursting into tears, then bursting into tears just because it’s time to burst into tears again. There are no circumstances under which Jessica does burst into tears. She never has a hankie handy, so I guess her sleeves are really taking a beating.

Nikolas is no romantic hero. Hear me now, believe me now. He thinks Jessica is a slut, but wants her so badly he even condescends to marry her, planning on a divorce shortly after he has completely sated himself on her. I absolutely hated Nikolas. Jessica falls in love with him early on, but there is no rhyme or reason to it; he’s a world-class jerk, so far beyond arrogant as to be a caricature of arrogance. Nikolas is unremittingly pompous, egotistical, overbearing, and conceited, and has absolutely no redeeming qualities at all – none! Why Jessica loves him is a complete mystery. Just when you think he “gets it” and has an opportunity to be sweet, he says or does something totally in keeping with his repulsive character and Jessica explodes into tears of anger, tears of sorrow, tears of disgust, tears of pity, tears of . . . well, you get the picture.

Jessica is the whiniest, wimpiest heroine I’ve ever read. She can’t make up her mind about anything, except she wants to keep her independence and her virginity, and cries and cries and cries. Every other page (count them if you don’t believe me), she turns on the water works. While most heroines bite their lip or try to put up a strong front, Jessica dissolves into tears at every given opportunity.

Linda Howard is famous for her sizzling love scenes. I thought, okay, when Jessica and Niko finally go to bed (on their wedding night and not before), he’ll realize she’s still a virgin and he was wrong about her and they’ll have a passionate night of bliss in each other’s arms. Well, you can forget that one right now. It’s kiss, kiss, cut to the pounding surf, and Jessica crying because Niko was too drunk and frustrated to notice she really did deserve that white wedding dress she bitched so much about having. Then he fell asleep (okay, now that I can buy).

Between all the crying and the yelling, the anger and the near rapes – even after they are finally married! – I came as close to throwing this book against a wall as I have ever come. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t review a book published sixteen years ago, but because it’s being reissued on an unsuspecting reading public, I thought you might like to know what you’re getting before you get it. If you absolutely must read it because it’s a Linda Howard, then get it for as cheap as possible from a UBS; but even if somebody gives it to you for free, you’ll still feel you paid too much.