Dashiell Dawson Dane and his motley crew of friends return for book five of The Last Picks, this one set around Valentine’s Day, and which opens with them all joining most of the other inhabitants of Hastings Rock for the annual Sweethearts Festival at the local amusement park. For one week every February, Shipwreck Shores opens up to celebrate Valentine’s, offering nautical-themed rides and games, including a rollercoaster (the Sea Snake, natch), and even a fun house, Davy Jones’ Locker, which, as Dash very quickly finds out, isn’t much fun at all. Not when you literally stumble across a dead body inside – a dead body which disappears in the time between your finding it and running outside to call the cops.

As I’ve said before, the author is clearly having fun playing with the various tropes and conventions in the mystery genre, and in Between You and Me we have the ‘disappearing body’ – where the main character is sure a murder has been committed, but is unable to prove it. But Dash knows what he saw and his friends know he’s not making it up – and, of course, they suggest that Dash should investigate, find the body, and, more to the point, find the murderer.

The mystery is, as always, clever and well-put together, and a murder-mystery in a fun house is a nicely creepy touch. The red-herrings mount up and bodies come and go as it becomes clear that whoever is responsible will stop at nothing to keep their secret – and Dash’s determination to get to the truth puts him firmly in their crosshairs.

The Last Picks are again on hand to provide encouragement and moral support, and I enjoy spending time with them. The brotherly energy between Keme and Dash is great, Indira’s voice of reason is always welcome and watching Keme figuratively tripping over his own feet around Millie is both funny and sweet. In this story we get to know a bit more about Fox, who is somewhat less than their usual flamboyant melodramatic self, and whose problems give Dash the opportunity to be a supportive friend. In return, Fox is able to offer Dash some badly needed insight and advice, forcing him to face up to the fact that he can’t keep dithering (and running away) forever.

It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of Gregory Ashe’s books – they work for me on every level; writing, plot, characters, relationships – and knowing that slow burn romances are often part of his MO, I settled into The Last Picks knowing not to expect Dash and his love interest to get together early on. But this latest instalment of the Dash ‘n’ Bobby show is the most frustrating yet.

Since Doom Magnet, where it genuinely seemed as though they were finally in a position to at least think about moving beyond friendship, we’ve had two books of Dash panicking and bemoaning the fact that they’re no longer enjoying the easy friendship they once did, and Bobby being all quiet and broody, both of them seeming to be totally oblivious to the clues they’re interested in each other that everyone else can see flashing in big neon letters. In Between You and Me, it’s clear that they’re no longer oblivious – they’re just paralysed into inaction. We get (I think) three separate instances of pages and pages of Dash’s anxiety spiralling as he overthinks and repeats his insecurities about the risks of getting romantically involved with someone – and honestly, it was exhausting. Don’t misunderstand me – the author’s ability to stretch out a slooooow burn is unparalleled, but I fear the ‘will they/won’t they’ in this series may have been stretched just a bit too far. In Between You and Me, it’s clear that they’re no longer oblivious – they’re just paralysed into inaction. We get (I think) three separate instances of pages and pages of Dash’s anxiety spiralling as he overthinks and repeats his insecurities about the risks of getting romantically involved with someone – and honestly, it was exhausting. Don’t misunderstand me – the author’s ability to stretch out a slooooow burn is unparalleled, but I fear the ‘will they/won’t they’ in this series may have been stretched just a bit too far. In terms of page count, I think we had to wait longer for Hazard and Somers to own up to how they felt about each other, but the Hazard and Somersetbooks have a lot more going on to provide tension than just the bumpy romance, and there were external circumstances the couple needed to address before they could be together. The only thing keeping Dash and Bobby apart at this point is, well, Dash and Bobby (who is so underwritten that he’s in danger of fading into the background, and I can have only so much sympathy for a character who constantly gets in his own way and refuses to help himself.

And if that final line is the precursor to yet another road block, I will spit feathers.

/rant

After all that, it must seem as though I didn’t enjoy the book, but that’s not the case, because I did. The writing is excellent, the mystery is extremely well done – the moment where the author’s slight-of-hand/misdirection is revealed is a doozy and the finale is tense and exciting – and Dash’s internal musings (whether about bacon-wrapped turkey legs or Indira’s fabulous cakes) are always endearingly self-deprecating and funny. I suppose that if I was reading these books solely for the mysteries I might not find the Dash and Bobby thing so frustrating, but I’m invested in these two idiots in love and want them to be happy and together, dammit!

Here’s hoping these two dumb boys will get their heads out of their arses in the next book!