Tala Soaringbird really needs to work on developing a sense of humor.

As the “one chosen” (notice that it’s not “chosen one” so, of course, it’s completely different from what you’re thinking of) Talia is the warrior of her mysterious forest-dwelling people. She kills werewolves who have succumbed to their darker side; as she goes about fulfilling her sacred duty, she is one major league windbag.

Jason Donovan is a modern day guy who, with his brother, was attacked by a werewolf. But, being the basically nice guy that he is, Jason hasn’t surrendered to that darker side and, instead, he’s traveling around looking for the werewolf who attacked him so he can kill him and be free of his curse. One night in a dark alley he is attacked by a woman he thinks is a tramp, but instead is a werewolf. Tala, the virgin warrior, interferes and winds up taking Jason captive herself.

Tala (the one chosen knows all) understands that Jason hasn’t surrendered to total werewolf evil, but she also can’t be certain that he eventually won’t. So she takes him to the lair of her people, even though it is forbidden to bring an outsider among them, or as Tala explains it:

“My people are descendents of a race many years upon this earth. We follow the old laws, the old ways, and we do not allow outsiders among us, or go to live with them in their world. Our race must be kept pure. We are special and chosen for a great duty — to keep not only our blood pure, but to kill those who would taint the world with evil.”

Okay. Let me say that absolutely every member of this tribe “speechifies” in this manner. And, regretfully, they are all just as screamingly smug. I should also say that it kind of strikes me as not very fair to Native North American culture to portray an entire people in this absolutely humorless light. (Well, to be fair, Tala’s uncle is okay for a while there, but then, wouldn’t you know it, he goes and wrecks it all.)

So, Jason is on his quest to find his evil maker, while virgin warrior Tala teaches him to control the beast within. Soon enough, that nasty female werewolf who attacked Jason in the beginning of the book (mateless since her lover was killed in the initial attack) also arrives on the scene.

To be frank, I simply couldn’t get past Tala’s totally humorless character and her incredibly gas-baggy manner of speaking. And when you contrast Tala with Jason’s casual modern-day English, it’s extremely . . . well, let’s say, disconcerting. For example:

Tala: “You think we are ignorant, backward, that we are savages who know no better, who must be led into the light by the superior white man?”

Jason: “Whoa. I never said that.”

Maybe Tala is right about the white man part, but does she have to be so darn smug, too?

Without giving anything away, I also have to warn you that this book contains one of the most excruciatingly painful epilogues (you know, the visit from the previous happy couple – in this case from Thompson’s well-reviewed short story in the After Twilight anthology) that I’ve ever run across. This epilogue also contains the book’s only real attempts at any sort of humor.

Call of the Moon was a total failure for me. It was overly ponderous, filled with pompous characters, and a hero and heroine who never sprang into any real sort of life. My advice to you would be to take a lesson from Tala: Keep your blood pure and buy not this book.