Colliding Hearts, the third book in Jax Calder’s Rainbow Redemption series set in and around Auckland, New Zealand, is a tender, heartfelt and heartrending romance that runs the gamut of emotions and had just enough angst to keep me eagerly turning the pages. It’s shorter than the first two books in the series, coming in at around two-hundred pages, and although there are cameo appearances from the other couples, it works perfectly well as a standalone.

The story starts at the scene of a serious car accident when a very disorientated Felix realises he’s somehow crashed through the barriers at the side of the road. It’s pitch black and he can’t see a thing – but he can hear an unfamiliar voice reassuring him, a gorgeous voice that sounds like the most decadent chocolate cake; a voice he’d love to keep listening to even as he’s struggling not to surrender to the encroaching darkness. The voice belongs to Jared, an off-duty paramedic, who does the little he can for Felix, holding his hand, talking and encouraging him to talk, while they wait for the emergency services to arrive. It’s touch and go and Felix is in a pretty bad way; Jared stays with him all through the rescue and until Felix is loaded into the ambulance – and then he just disappears into the crowd.

Almost a year later, we find Felix at a club on Halloween, determined to have some fun and hopefully get laid. Pre-accident Felix never had any trouble finding men to sleep with and always got what he wanted courtesy of his good looks and charming smile, but he quickly discovered that the scarring on the right side of his face has changed all that – he even lost his job with a high-end designer when she flat out told him that his ‘new look’ wasn’t what she wanted for her brand. The change in his appearance since the crash has seriously dented his self-confidence, but what with the Yoda costume, the heavy green make-up and the low lighting of the club, he’s starting to feel more like his old self, and when he spots a tall, dark and (hopefully) handsome man on the other side of the dance floor, he decides to go for it. The fact that the guy is wearing a Darth Vader mask has to be a sign from the universe – right?

Several dances and (bad) Star Wars puns later, and Felix and ‘Darth’ are heading back to his place – which, it turns out, is not only in the same building as Felix’s apartment but on the same floor. So much for signs from the universe. Felix realises he’s briefly glimpsed his neighbour, and thinks that if he tells him who he is, he’ll work out what Felix really looks like and the night will be over before it’s begun. So he keeps quiet. It’s a bit shitty of him, but it’s been so long since anyone has touched Felix or made him feel wanted, that he decides to ignore his conscience – just for one night. And it’s a fantastic night, not just because the sex is amazing, but because there’s something incredibly freeing about being with someone who doesn’t know about all his baggage.

But the morning light brings more than worry about what will happen when his bed partner sees his face, and Felix is thinking about sneaking out when a warm arm wraps around him and a sleepy voice asks if he wants to stay for breakfast. Felix freezes. That voice has haunted his dreams for months. It’s him. The man who was there at the worst moment of his life – and saved him.

Knowing that Jared can not only see his face but knows how it got that way sends Felix into a bit of a panic, but breakfast is surprisingly easy and comfortable, and Felix finds himself telling Jared about his new job as a veterinary nurse at a local clinic as they exchange funny stories about their professions. Felix doesn’t remember much about the accident, but one thing he does remember is how seriously Jared listened to him and how he seemed actually interested in what he had to say – just as he does now. Felix suddely realises their breakfast is long gone and that perhaps he’s outstaying his welcome, so it’s time to fess up to the fact that they’re neighbours – but when he does, it brings him back to earth with a bump, because the expression that flashes across Jared’s face can only be described one way – panic. Felix immediately resorts to his usual method of self-protection – snarky humour and a carefree attitude – and blithely suggests that, as he’s only recently moved to Auckland, maybe he and Jared can be friends.

So that’s what they become, falling into a kind of accidental domesticity; hanging out, sharing meals, cooking for each other, and taking trips out with Jared’s four-year-old niece, Emmy, who really takes a shine to Felix. He tells himself it’s all great, that he can’t expect a gorgeous guy like Jared to want to be anything other than friends – but the undeniable longing and quietly growing affection are unable to ignore and soon, they slide into a friends-with-benefits arrangement – which doesn’t really feel like a casual sex thing at all, but which Felix can’t afford to hope might become something else.

The story is told almost entirely through Felix’s eyes (for reasons that become apparent later on), and I really enjoyed his upbeat, self-aware narrative voice – which is so well-contrasted with everything that’s really going on in his head. The author does a great job of articulating his struggles with self-image and showing him slowly learning who he is after surviving a life-altering experience; he’s funny and kind and smart, and is a lot stronger than he thinks he is, but he’s so sure that his disfigured face is more likely to provoke pity than love or affection that he always keeps his real self hidden behind a wall of wit and humour, trying to show the world that he’s fine when deep down, he’s convinced he’s unattractive and will never find someone to share his life with.

I will admit that Felix’s I’m-so-ugly-that-nobody-will-ever-want-me introspection was a bit overdone at times, but I did very much like the realisation he comes to later in the book that his accident hasn’t just changed him on the outside and that it’s given him a different perspective on many other aspects of his life. I liked that we see him working through his trauma and self-doubt with a therapist and that love doesn’t magically fix everything.

Jared is a great guy who seems to really like Felix and not to care about his scars, and their relationship evolves in a realistic way after the coincidences that throw them (back) together. Jared gets Felix on so many levels; he enjoys Felix’s sense of humour, he’s supportive and kind and affectionate, and even though we don’t get into his head, it’s very clear that he feels a lot more for Felix than friendship – which makes it difficult to understand why he continues to hold back from telling Felix he wants more and lets Felix continue to think that they’re only casual. Then the author drops the bombshell – and… ouch. Jax Calder really knows how to deliver an emotional gut-punch.

Colliding Hearts is a beautifully written and wonderfully romantic story full of warmth, humour, healing and personal growth. I did struggle a bit with the coincidences – Felix and Jared meeting again is one thing, but their literally being neighbours was a bit of a stretch – but in the end, the way their deep affection for one another leaps off the page completely sold me on their love story.