I recently made a comment, on another review thread, about the fact that when I read contemporary romance, I generally stick to books by a handful of tried-and-tested authors, because I find so many novels in the genre are filled with the same stock-in-trade characters and the same tired tropes and plots that lack depth and emotion. Picking up a new contemporary by an author whose last book didn’t wow me could have backfired, but thankfully, Barbara Elsborg’s Fen delivered all the depth and emotional satisfaction I could have wished for. It’s one of those books I can only call ‘lovely’ – warm, funny, romantic and well-written, and I’m so very glad I decided to read it.

Twenty-four-year-old Fen Wood works as a repairer and restorer for a small antiques business. His boss is a bit of an arsehole, but Fen enjoys the work and it is, at least, a job he can do given the physical limitations he lives with as a consequence of Becker Muscular Dystrophy (BMD), a life-limiting illness. Fen has long since accepted he isn’t going to make old bones and is determined to live the best life he possibly can:

“… after the initial shock and his journey through every stage of grief, he’d understood there was no point in going through life miserable.”

And so he isn’t. Well, not too often. There are times when things get him down, but he’s incredibly strong and resilient, and he works hard to keep himself on an even keel, both mentally and physically.

Part of Fen’s job is attending auctions and bidding on items on behalf of the business, and on this particular day he also has his eye on one lot for himself. After the sale he’s slowly making his way (in the rain) towards the bus stop, struggling to manage the crutch he uses for balance and his purchases, when a posh car speeds past him, splashing him with dirty water. Great. The driver doesn’t stop or even appear to have noticed. A few minutes later, the same car pulls up alongside Fen; the man in the driver’s seat calls out that Fen has something that belongs to him and offers to pay him for the items he bought at the auction. Even though the offer is more than Fen paid, he doesn’t like the man’s unnecessarily aggressive attitude, says he isn’t interested and keeps walking. He’s wet and cold and just wants to get home.

Ripley Beaumont, a successful barrister, is furious when he learns that his mother has summarily sent a load of furniture and other items to be sold at auction. He doesn’t have a particular affection for the house he grew up in or any of the things in it; his annoyance is more to do with the fact that this is bound to be yet another of his mother’s attempts to get his attention – and he has no desire to play her games. The tragic death of his father when Ripley was just eight years old robbed him of the one person in his life who truly loved him; his mother was – and still is – a cold, manipulative and demanding woman who never told him she was proud of him or that she loved him. Ripley spent the rest of his childhood being ignored and quickly learned that the best way to avoid disappointment was never to become emotionally invested in anything. And the one time he did just reinforced Ripley’s conviction that he’s not cut out for relationships.

When he finds out that she included a box of stuff from his old bedroom in the things she sent out for auction, he’s even angrier. He races to the auction house to retrieve his possessions, only to find that they’ve already been sold – and as he finds out soon afterwards, “the bloody stroppy cute-looking guy” who bought them isn’t willing to sell them back to him. But he isn’t one to give up easily, and a few days later, goes to Winn’s Antiques hoping that perhaps he’ll be able to change the guy’s mind.

In the meantime, Fen has discovered that one of the items hidden in the puzzle box is a George Cross medal awarded to one Russell Belmont. He can’t possibly keep it, and isn’t going to sell it, even though it’s worth a lot of money; he plans to track down the owner and return it. So he isn’t completely surprised when Ripley shows up at the shop a few days after later. He explains about the medal – which Ripley had no idea was in the box – returns it, and rather surprises himself when he agrees to meet Ripley for a drink later that evening.

Ripley is smitten with Fen from almost the moment he sets eyes on him, and just can’t explain it. There’s something about him – he’s beautiful, yes, but it’s more than that. He’s got a smart mouth on him, he’s funny and passionate about the things he cares about… he’s also too young (Ripley is late thirties) and vulnerable and not at all Ripley’s type – yet is exactly what he wants. The chemistry between them sizzles right from the start, and the drink extends to an outing to an exhibition, then dinner and lively conversation – and a passionate kiss at the end of the evening.

After a maybe-date a few days later and frequent text exchanges while Ripley is away for a few days on a case, Fen is hoping they might be moving towards putting things between them on a firmer footing. Ripley has taken the trouble to find out about Fen’s condition and it hasn’t sent him running in the opposite direction; he cares about Fen’s comfort but isn’t overprotective; he’s funny and he listens, really listens, to what Fen has to say, whether it’s about his love for Japanese ceramics or his favourite books. When Ripley asks Fen to be his lover – to live with him, go places with him, travel with him – Fen thinks its an odd way to ask someone to go out with them. But then he realises that isn’t what Ripley asking for. He’s not looking for a relationship or love – he wants a companion and sexual partner he can simply walk away from in six month’s time, and he’s making sure Fen doesn’t get any ideas about happily ever after. And in return for six months of Fen’s time, he’ll pay him a large sum of money. The proposal leaves Fen deeply upset and very conflicted. He likes Ripley – a lot – and would happily be his boyfriend without the need for payment. Just once, after a life filled with rejection, he’d like to be with someone who sees him as worth keeping. On the other hand, the money Ripley is offering would give Fen the chance to do some of the things on his bucket list, things he’ll never get to do otherwise. And would it be so bad to get paid for doing something he wants to do anyway?

Its clear that Ripley is struggling with the strength of his feelings for Fen even as he makes his offer, and that turning it into a transaction is his way of trying to remain in control. It’s just as clear that he’s closed the stable door too late; he and Fen are perfect for each other but Ripley is so determined to eschew commitment – for truly heart-breaking reasons – that he refuses to let himself see it. Ripley believes he’s broken, that he’s not designed for love and affection, and I loved watching Fen, with his delightfully sassy humour, his indomitable spirit, his fierce determination never to let others demean or diminish him in any way, quickly burrowing his way into Ripley’s battered heart and proving him wrong.

Fen is a wonderful breath of fresh air – very honest about the way his condition is likely to go, but determined not to let it dictate the way he lives his life any more than it has to. The author has obviously done her homework about BMD and does a great job of showing how hard Fen works to maintain his mostly positive outlook. I had a couple of minor niggles that meant I couldn’t quite give the book a full-on A grade, but they are minor and didn’t impact my enjoyment of the story. Fen is funny and sweet and charming, but it packs quite the emotional punch. I’m happy to recommend it.

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