Getting Over Mr. Right
The cover blurb states: Have you ever had your heart broken? How did you get over it? If a pint of ice cream cheered you up and you were able to delete his number and start again, then you’re a weirdo and this book is not for you. After reviewing my break-ups, I decided that even though ice cream definitely played a part in my recovery, I wasn’t immediately able to let go – sometimes even wallowing in my misery – thus escaping the weirdo classification. However, even being prepared for some crazy shenanigans, I wasn’t prepared for the blind obsession I read in this book.
The first time Ashleigh met Michael, she wasn’t impressed. Black high-waisted pants paired with a black turtleneck sweater and brown tasseled loafers covering a soft body two inches shorter than her height in heels didn’t inspire any interest at all. However, he turned out to be funny – a weakness of hers. Still, the real kicker was the great sex later that night. Never did she dream that “someone who had the watery eyes of a basset hound in a face like a moldy potato would kiss like you imagine Brad Pitt kisses Angelina.” Even her best friend gave a seal of approval stating that Michael was ripe for commitment. Michael did all the right things such as calling Monday for a date on Friday, making sure Ashleigh got home safely, and eliciting her input on their activities. Fast forward two and a half years, and all has changed. With Michael’s promotion, he moved to a new apartment, purchased a sports car, started dieting and working out for the elusive six pack, and updated his attire.
Ashleigh’s first clue that something is up comes from Michael’s cryptic message on Facebook that “he is making some tough decisions,” and then before her eyes, she receives an update that states Michael is no longer in a relationship. Telling herself not to panic, Ashleigh calls, texts, and emails Michael. After spending three hours waiting in vain for a response, she signs back into Facebook and discovers that she has been defriended. Later that evening, she confronts Michael at his apartment and he gives her a variation of the, “It’s not you, it’s me,” speech.
Hours later, she is still there begging for a second chance, imploring Michael to just tell her what she needs to change. He justifies his about face by saying he has been thinking of doing this for the past six months and that he never made any promises, but it is his statement that he just wants to be friends which reduces Ashleigh to tears and leaves her sobbing that she loves him. Michael’s comfort techniques imply that he’s open for sex and that night they have the best sex that they have had in months. Believing that this passion has resuscitated their relationship, Ashleigh is floored again when Michael reiterates that they are finished. Soon she is doing everything she can to discover the truth behind the breakup, and of course, there is another woman.
The book covers the great lengths Ashleigh will go to to get back her perfect man. Her fixation soon impacts all aspects of her life from her employment and her independence to her relationships with family and friends.
This is one of those times that I felt out of sync with much of the humor. When the plot veered off into different areas, like Ashleigh’s attempts at dog grooming or her relationship with her family, then I was easily entertained by the author’s keen satire. Even knowing that the book was written tongue in cheek and being forewarned of about Ashleigh’s obsessive behaviors, her inability to face reality becomes pathetic rather than funny as it drags on way too long. She crosses a line in the tiff with her best friend and does something just plain crass. Lastly, her recuperation from her generally self-induced difficulties takes up 99 percent of the book, leaving me frustrated with the comparatively meager reward at the end.
I do like imaginative authors like Ms. Manby, and her writing style appealed to me. However, the unlikeable heroine that teeters too close to the TSTL category, so I can’t quite recommend this book.