Gotcha! is billed as “sexy, humorous romantic suspense.” I found it lacking in all these qualities, and not recommendable in any way.

Macy Tucker is a recently divorced law student who delivers pizzas to pay the bills. Her brother Billy is a convict in the local prison, who angers murderer and fellow inmate David Tanks when he steals Tanks’s girl. Tanks vows to get revenge by raping, murdering — and likely decapitating — Macy. When Tanks escapes prison, Macy’s life is suddenly in a lot of danger.

Jake Baldwin is the Houston P.D. detective who put David Tanks in prison. When Tanks breaks out of prison, Jake is tagged as part of the investigation, which is being coordinated with the FBI. The FBI doesn’t think Tanks will come after Macy — despite all evidence to the contrary — so Jake takes over protecting Macy. The only problem is that Macy is stubborn, fiercely independent, and thinks all men are bastards so she refuses to be protected.

I really like light, humorous romantic suspense — when it’s actually funny. Unfortunately, too many authors sacrifice intelligence in their characters for the sake of humor, and most often this type of humor falls flat (at least for me). Perhaps it is the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back, but I found Gotcha! a worse offender than most. Usually when I’m reading a book for review I end up jotting down roughly one page of notes while I’m reading. At the end of this book, however, I had 3 pages of increasingly frustrated notes. Here’s a sampling:

I think you get the picture. In fact, at one point this thought flows through Macy’s TSTL-addled brain: “But who frightened her more, a man who would cut off her head…or a man who could rip out her heart?” She has got to be kidding. Sadly, she’s not.

So what is the excuse for having a supposedly highly intelligent woman act Too Stupid To Live? She thinks all men are bastards, of course, so she refuses to be protected by or risk having a relationship with Jake. Why are all men bastards? Well first her grandfather had the gall to die (the bastard), then her dad left (the bastard), then her husband cheated on her (the bastard). Granted, the latter two really are bastards, but Macy’s anger and attitude is so over-the-top irrational that I never had any sympathy for her.

To make matters worse, I didn’t even believe in the HEA. Macy was “all men are bastards” until practically the last page, and Jake had some communication issues that weren’t resolved to my satisfaction. If that weren’t enough, Macy’s cutesy vernacular came off as annoying and immature. When the heroine yells, “Crappers!” when a gun is pointed at her, it just doesn’t work for me.

Honestly, the only thing to like about Gotcha! is the hero, but even he doesn’t stand out from the overwhelming awfulness of the rest of it. This book is supposed to be geared toward fans of Janet Evanovich. The problems with that are: 1) Stephanie Plum isn’t supposed to be smart; and 2) Evanovich is actually funny, Craig is not. If you’re going to have a TSTL protagonist, you have to take your readers on an entertaining ride — not a cycle of frustrating tedium.