I Am Not Esther
Grade : B

I find the topic of religion to be fascinating, so I’m always up for a book that includes religion as part of the plot. I Am Not Esther is a rather chilling book about a cult that allows no individual thought.

Kirby Greenland has always had a chaotic life with her flaky mom. She’s used to taking care of her and the household responsibilities. One day her mother receives an upsetting letter and soon afterward announces that she’s quit her job at the hospital and will be going to Africa to work. Kirby will be staying with her Uncle Caleb and his family until she returns.

Kirby, however, has never met any of her relatives before, and she soon finds out why her mother had no contact with them. Her uncle, Caleb Pilgrim, belongs to a fundamentalist religious cult, the Children of the Faith. Their religion is very rigid. Women stay at home and have children. Children respect their elders and don’t ask questions. All members follow the Rule, a set of restrictions that keep them out of the reach of the world and focused on God. Once in Caleb and his wife Naomi’s care, Kirby is immediately renamed Esther. All members of the faith must have Biblical names. They must also not dress in worldly clothing and avoid TV and radio. Kirby learns that if she stays in Caleb’s care, she will likely be expected to marry a boy of her uncle’s choice soon, since most girls from the cult marry at sixteen. When Kirby rebels against the restrictions, the entire family is punished: Caleb, Naomi and their children spend hours on their knees praying and waiting for Kirby to repent. Kirby finds this to be terribly unfair but also terribly effective as punishment. How can she watch her tiny cousin suffer for what she does? It’s impossible; better to abide by the Rule. Nod and smile.

Of course, not everyone is completely satisfied with the way things are. The Pilgrims had a daughter, Miriam, who disappeared from the family only weeks before Kirby arrived. No one will talk about what happened to her. Kirby’s cousin Daniel secretly harbors the desire to be a doctor, even though he knows his religion frowns on higher education. Some of the girls Kirby associates with slyly break the Rule while at school. The longer Kirby stays with the Pilgrims, the more she wonders if she or anyone can leave. If social coercion alone can’t hold her, her feelings might. She doesn’t know if she can leave her cousins when she loves them and they need her.

I Am Not Esther has a horrific premise and will be appealing to teens. The idea that, at any moment, you could find yourself completely powerless and dependent on the whims of your elders is something that won’t feel too impossible to young people who already must play by adult rules. And though the Children of the Faith is a fictional religion, it bears great resemblance to many faiths with fundamentalist leanings.

The story moved along quickly. Kirby was an interesting character whose anger, belligerence, and occasional obedience were easy to understand. She see-sawed between hatred and love for her missing mother, and that was understandable. The resolutions of the two problems, how to cope within the cult’s strong grip and how to deal with her mother’s betrayal, were both well done and touching.

The book’s one flaw is its one-dimensional portrayal of religious people. Beale makes all the deeply religious characters cold, hard, unemotional and controlling, and all the doubters compassionate, brave, and wise. The cult itself was fairly interesting, and the obvious questions arise. Why do these people believe the way they do? How do they deal with doubt and disagreement within the religion? Do they find peace and happiness in practicing their faith? Beale never answers these questions. Making Kirby so ignorant about what the Children of the Faith are about is an effective device. It makes the story more frightening. But a more even-handed characterization might have made the tension between feeling and religious belief even more poignant.

Fleur Beale is a New Zealand author, and I Am Not Esther was originally published in 1998. I believe this is her first title published in the United States. Though the book had a few flaws in characterization, it was a riveting, emotional read, and I will be looking for future titles by Beale.

Reviewed by Rachel Potter
Grade : B
Book Type: Young Adult

Sensuality: N/A

Review Date : December 19, 2002

Publication Date: 2004

Review Tags: New Zealand cult

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