Make-Believe Matrimony
Grade : D-

My eyes hurt. I don't think I've ever spent as much time rolling them as I did while reading this book. A shrill, irritating heroine and overly descriptive writing, not to mention a slightly illogical plot, killed this one for me.

Annie Brown is Comanche Springs's resident millionaire. She won the lottery and suddenly men are literally hanging out of trees in her yard to get her to marry them. Whatever is a girl to do? Enter Ryan Armstrong, local cop who happens to be a hottie. When Annie won't follow his advice by beefing up her security and pressing charges against an overeager trespasser, he decides to secretly watch over her. After a few more incidents of men hitting on her, Ryan comes up with a solution: he and Annie should pretend to be married to hold off the unwanted attention. Brilliant! Right?

Of course not. True love, or even pretend love, never runs smoothly. And given the scorching hot attraction between them, that's where we're headed.

Annie is one of the most annoying heroines I've ever read about. Shrill, screechy, angry, immature (she stamps her foot like a child several times), and obtuse sum up her personality. She's always mad about something, and once Ryan arrives in her life, her annoyance is usually directed toward him. She's obtuse about the difference between being dependent on a man and needing a little help with a bad situation. And the worst part is her condemnation of all males because daddy ran off and she had a bad relationship. Ergo, all men will leave. Argh! I knew I hated that in a hero. Guess what? I hate it in a heroine, too.

Ryan's a little better, and he's the reason I'm not giving this book an F. He can be a little clueless sometimes, but his cheesy double-entendres can be cute. And when he stands up to Annie after she becomes completely unreasonable, and doesn't beg her for her love, I wanted to cheer.

The author tends to use lots of adjectives. I appreciate descriptive writing. I also appreciate descriptive writing that uses the fewest possible adjectives and similes, not the most. For example:

"When her anger reached its pinnacle, it was like a nuclear bomb exploding. A red haze of fury mushroomed inside of her, expanding until there was no room for coherent thought."

My personal favorite passage is while Ryan and Annie are having sex:

"Once she was positioned over his rock-hard erection-his shaft poised at her entryway--he released her arms..."

Hello? If she's over his "rock-hard erection," where else would it be? The attraction between Ryan and Annie arises at their first meeting. It was pretty obvious they'd end up in bed. I tend to doubt their Happily Ever After based on Annie's attitude, but who knows? Who cares? And the suspense/stalker subplot is barely existent. It appears and disappears only long enough to make tough-girl Annie cry and tremble and lean on Ryan.

I can't recommend this book unless you like marriage-of-convenience stories so much that a likable heroine isn't a necessity.

Reviewed by Andrea Pool
Grade : D-
Book Type: Series Romance

Sensuality: Hot

Review Date : March 5, 2001

Publication Date: 2001/02

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