Somewhat Scandalous
Pearl Darling’s Somewhat Scandalous succeeds asa demented soap opera, but fails as a romance. The characters careen through one bizarre situation after another, and while I had no interest in them on an emotional level, I couldn’t wait to see what nonsense they’d get up to next.
Lord Henry Anglethorpe works as a spymaster for the War Office. Unfortunately his superior wants him to get married, so he can move in the ton without attracting attention due to his reclusive ways. But after Henry’s father’s death, his mother wasted away and died too, so love = heartbreak. And as if this wasn’t enough of a cliché, there’s the usual disdain for women:
Debutantes were silly. They were simpering misses whose veneer of sophistication covered either heads filled with sponge, or Machiavellian minds ready to entrap their next lord.
Ah, “simpering”. That word always appears in the thoughts of a misogynistic hero. I could make a drinking game out of it.
But along comes our heroine, Agatha Beauregard. She’s left homeless after her grandfather’s death, so her brother, who lives elsewhere, asks Henry to be her guardian. Her grandfather was extremely abusive, but all the beatings he inflicted haven’t affected her, so… moving on. Agatha is fascinated by science and indulges in experimentation at the drop of a hat.
This could have been intriguing, but it never came off as well-developed. Rather than having a chosen field of study, Agatha flits from one discipline to the next. Then, at a ball, she gives scientific demonstrations to gentlemen, and when Henry says this behavior has made her an object of gossip, she suggests she become a member of the Royal Academy of Sciences. Henry stammers in disbelief, and a villain points out to Agatha that the Royal Academy doesn’t accept women.
Agatha is completely naïve about anything that’s not science-related. When Henry gets his valet to masquerade as a footman to keep an eye on her, the valet disguises himself as a hunchback with a huge wart on his nose and a beard worthy of Santa Claus, then addresses a lord’s widow as “Miss”. Agatha fails to see through any of this. On top of that, she’s victimized by four different men, on separate occasions. One of them lures her into a private room, then pulls her into an embrace, which makes her whimper helplessly until Henry interrupts.
Immediately Agatha fell limp in relief, shuddering with revulsion at Charles’ hands. Henry, her rescuer. She’d never call him Horrible Henry again. She waited limply but Henry did not try to pull her out of Charles’ arms.
Henry arranges for her to marry the guy, who turns out to be an evil lecher. Agatha runs away from him and bolts smack dab into yet another man who has ill intentions towards her. For some reason the man, who’s a circus performer, forces her to dress up as a knife-thrower and chuck blades at him, and then someone tries to shoot her, but she runs away again and Henry saves her.
I wasn’t even halfway through the book at this point. Agatha hears that her brother and his wife were killed in the usual carriage accident, leaving their daughter in an orphanage, so she rushes off to save the girl without a word to anyone. Henry’s sister considers Agatha her dearest friend, so Agatha’s disappearance makes the sister sink into a depression and marry some creep. I predicted the creep would die, and sure enough he did so ten pages later, but by then Henry believes Agatha is a French spy. And it only gets more convoluted from here.
Somewhat Scandalous is actually quite funny, if you don’t need realism. An earl introduces himself to Agatha as “Earl Harding”, and I wondered if Earl was his given name. But no, his name is Hades. Maybe that’s why everyone calls him Earl Harding. I could go on and on, but you get the gist. Finally, Henry’s superior explains to him that his mother actually died of consumption rather than a broken heart, so Henry realizes that marrying Agatha won’t mean dooming her to an early grave if she becomes a widow. Besides, I thought, like Mr. Bennet, he may be the survivor. And on that cheery note, my review ends.
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Book Details
Reviewer: | Marian Perera |
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Review Date: | January 16, 2020 |
Publication Date: | 08/2016 |
Grade: | D+ |
Sensuality | Kisses |
Book Type: | Historical Romance |
Review Tags: |
My initial impression is I love the author’s pen name TBH.
Yeah, I actually don’t think there’s anything wrong with “Pearl Darling.” It looks nice on the cover too. Unlike Elaine s., it doesn’t scream erotica to me- although it could depending on the niche. Romance, definitely.
“Just the author’s name would put me off this utter [email protected]” Oof! Maybe I should have rethought my branding for Nan De Plume…
The name, in all honesty, would have seemed more sensible in, shall we say, other genres??
Ha! You should see some of the names of erotica writers on KDP. I seem to remember one writer actually used the surname “Sexx.” Of course, with a pen name like that, there is no ambiguity. And I am both impressed with and jealous of whoever came up with the pen name “BJ Wood.” Yes, that is a real erotica pen name.
Just the author’s name would put me off this utter [email protected] Thanks, Marian for doing the heavy lifting for us though an F- might have been more appropriate. An A+ to you for a brilliant review.
Thanks!
I try to save F grades for books that are offensive, and this one was merely half-witted. Just for the heck of it, though, I read the blurbs of a few others in the series. One has “simpering debutante” right there at the start, another says the hero persists in calling the heroine his “little cream doughnut”, and a third one mentions villains called Moreno and Khaffar (not touching this one if I were paid to do so). Sounds a complete trainwreck.
Little cream doughnut? Moreno and Khaffar? I can’t even…
I actually googled the history of doughnuts to see how likely it was that a man in Regency/Victorian times would be familiar with them.
Even if it was realistic, though, it sounds ridiculous to call a woman that. I’d probably end up imagining Homer Simpson as the hero.
“I’d probably end up imagining Homer Simpson as the hero.” Well, compared to the train wreck presented, Homer might actually be endearing as a romance hero.
Thanks for reading this book and giving such a fun review, Ms. Perera. In case you’re wondering, this appears to be self-published according to my research.
“The characters careen through one bizarre situation after another, and while I had no interest in them on an emotional level, I couldn’t wait to see what nonsense they’d get up to next.” It sounds like a lot of melodramatic comedy fun as long as the reader doesn’t try to make sense of anything- and the writer doesn’t take herself too seriously.
“Somewhat Scandalous is actually quite funny, if you don’t need realism.” Actually, I find some of the most fun stories are those completely lacking in realism, the ones that just aim to tell a good yarn to keep the reader entertained. Like I’ve said before, any cozy mystery book or television series requires the suspension of disbelief that somehow a charming town with a population of fewer than 3,000 at most (and rapidly dropping!) has a higher murder per capita rate than the world’s most violent major cities. Or the fact that Sheriff Matt Dillon of “Gunsmoke” has probably been shot in the shoulder 20+ times in 20 years. Not to mention all the times heroes and villains in adventure books and movies have been clunked over the head multiple times without suffering brain damage common to professional boxers.
I think the best strategy in this case is for the author to take a lighthearted approach, which it sounds like Ms. Darling did in her book- at least the way I read your review of it. Did she intentionally incorporate the humor, or do you think it was unintentional as in “it was so bad, it was funny?” I purposely weave humor into my stories not only for my own entertainment and to hopefully give readers a chuckle, but also as part of the over-the-top nature of the wacky stuff I make up as I go along. It sounds like maybe Ms. Darling did the same.
Glad the review entertained you. :)
It’s entirely possible that the author meant this story to be humorous. But if I knew this from the start, I wouldn’t have tried it because I don’t usually read rom-coms. Unfortunately the cover didn’t suggest humor (for me, heroine in a long dress = historical, and all that dark blue = an intense, hopefully atmospheric story). The blurb calls it a fast-paced romantic mystery, rather than hinting at comedic potential. And while the characters’ antics were rarely if ever believable, the narrative voice never seemed witty or amusing. Humor is subjective, of course, but I didn’t get the impression this was what the author was deliberately going for.
It’s fine if an author wants to write a farce filled with ridiculous hijinks, but I’d prefer it if the story showed from the get-go that this is what to expect, as opposed to starting with everything mentioned above as well as a heroine facing destitution because of the death of her grandfather, who used to beat her. That was a serious situation which made me think this was the kind of romance I would enjoy. Though once I accepted that the storyline was a disjointed mess, I stopped hoping for anything to make sense, and just kept reading for the funny parts.
“That was a serious situation which made me think this was the kind of romance I would enjoy. Though once I accepted that the storyline was a disjointed mess, I stopped hoping for anything to make sense, and just kept reading for the funny parts.” Ah. Thanks for the clarification.