Humor is obviously subjective and what works for one person may not work for another. Recently there was some discussion on the boards about Lori Wilde’s License to Thrill, a book some didn’t like, but that book was madcap and slapstick in a way that worked for me. Mary Leo’s Stick Shift on the other hand, is just plain bad slapstick. More than that, it’s just plain painful.

Lucy Mastronardo is a computer engineer planning her marriage to a suitable, likeminded fellow. He’s the kind of guy who has his entire life organized and scheduled, which means Friday is Sexday (the only day of the week they ever have sex), Saturday is Laundryday, Sunday is Groceryday, etc. Obviously Lucy is yet another romance character who has saddled herself to the kind of mate who makes the reader question her sanity if this is the type of person she wants to be with forever. Just as obviously, this is the setup for her to meet someone who is completely inappropriate in her view, but with whom who she will inevitably fall in love.

The inappropriate hero arrives in the form of Vittorio Bandini. They meet when Lucy is summoned to Naples the week before her wedding (of course) to make sure a new chip goes out on time. She finds herself sitting next to Vittorio on the plane. He’s a chef and one of those grandiose, dramatic Italian men who flirts openly with her. Readers will either find him exotically charming or one-note smarmy. When breakfast is served on the flight, Vittorio makes a scene about how terrible the omelette is and how his shoe would taste better. Then he proceeds to put his shoe in his mouth, a piece of leather pops off, and he has to swallow it. This is a good example of who Vittorio is, as well as the book’s humor.

When the car rental agency fails to provide the car with automatic transmission Lucy asked for, Vittorio offers her a ride into Naples. He makes a few stops along the way to pick up supplies for his restaurant, forcing food into Lucy’s mouth every step of the way. By the end, she’s so gorged that when they arrive at her hotel, she stumbles out of the car and vomits all over the shoes of an elegantly dressed woman standing out front.

Are you laughing yet? No? How about this: Lucy and Vittorio fall asleep and take a nap. Later, when Lucy tries to explain to a coworker in his crowded restaurant how she and Vittorio spent the morning together, the room is so noisy the coworker can’t hear her. So Lucy screams, “Vittorio and I slept together!” And of course, everyone in the restaurant quiets down right when she says it, so that everyone hears her loud and clear. Ha?

The “humor” in the book is all based in pain and embarrassment and I could not determine what was supposed to be “fun.” Is it fun when Lucy gets mugged on the street and all her clothes are ruined? Is it fun when she is forced to stay with a female coworker who has a cat, when Lucy is terribly allergic to cats, and spends the next chapter sniffling and sneezing? Is it fun reading about her butting heads with bureaucratic hotel clerks and car rental agents? Is it funny when the receptionist blithely mentions that their IT expert is being held hostage in Colombia (but no big deal, because that’s what happens in South America), so Lucy can use his office? Is it fun when she spends several long passages haranguing the Italian staff because she doesn’t approve of their work ethic?

For me, the answer was no. Lucy is entirely unlikable. There’s nothing to her personality other than her being pushy and rude; I didn’t identify, empathize, or sympathize with her at all. And of course, as an Italian-American, she has an loud, overbearing mother. As a love story, it’s rushed, implausible and not developed at all. This is definitely more Chick Lit than romance (the Flipside line is something of a hybrid), focused on the heroine learning to step out of her boring life – which is unconvincing – instead of on the relationship, which offers no chemistry whatsoever. Some of the characters’ attitudes and personalities shift back and forth with neck-snapping speed. The ending is abrupt and not at all satisfying.

Even the Italian setting, the reason I bought this book, was not particularly well done. The best thing I can say about the book is that while it cost me $4.50 now, it may have saved me money in the long run, because I now have no desire to visit Italy anytime soon.