The Bodyguard is goofy, cartoony and filled with slapstick humor, but that’s part of its charm.  The bad guys are so outrageously bad that they spend their time on-page twisting their mustaches, and the good guys are walking saints.  The writing has charm enough to drag the book up to a C grade, but the implausible actions of the leads wouldn’t allow me to rank it any higher.  Don’t come into this one expecting anything serious; every goofy choice just adds to the pile of the ridiculous things done by these characters until you can’t do anything other than sit back and laugh at it all.

Hannah Brooks is cool, confident and deadly.  She needs to be – she’s a well-trained bodyguard to the stars whose everywoman looks help her blend into the background.  Her latest client is saintly actor Jack Stapleton, and he’s got a problem in the form of a boundary-pushing stalker.

Jack’s not only got a stalker, he’s got a sick mom who just had surgery.  Heading to the family ranch to spend time with her, he decides not to alarm them with news of the stalker by pretending Hannah is his girlfriend. Since Hannah’s still licking her wounds from her ex-boyfriend – who dumped her because he told her she couldn’t kiss – and the death of her own mom, heading to Texas with Jack is just the distraction she needs.  But when the threats against Jack intensify, will Hannah be able to save the day?

Well, yes, but barely.  Hannah’s pretty bad at protecting her client here, and she complains a whole ton about her job to boot.  In fact, she keeps making choices that put Jack in danger.  She’s also incredibly distracted by her so-slimy-it’s-ridiculous ex, who is about as subtle as a snake.

Jack, meanwhile, has never met a charity he didn’t like, has washboard abs, is a great actor, has a great smile and loves his family.  Their relationship doesn’t culminate in a kiss until nearly the entire book has passed by, and Hannah spends most of the it wondering how in the world Jack could ever have feelings about normal, Plain Jane her.  (Plain Jane who could probably kick Steven Seagal’s butt!)

The book also fails to marry together its more serious plot points, like Jack’s tragic backstory and Hannah’s mourning for her mom, with its very lighthearted and goofy story.

But the prose is enjoyable, and if you turn your brain down for a minute or two, The Bodyguard definitely has its plusses.  If you keep your expectations on a lighter, sunnier side, you might like it more than I did.

Buy it at: Amazon, Audible or your local independent retailer

Visit our Amazon Storefront