There’s just no nice way to say it: This book is terrible. The author means well, and the characters aren’t truly nasty as much as they are silly. I admit that when I opened it I hoped for a guilty pleasure. The teaser line (in bold print) reads: “You’re a disgraceful bounder, Creed Sixkiller.” Frankly, that struck me as hilarious, and I was hoping for more of the same. But this wasn’t so-bad-it’s-funny; it’s just so bad it’s, well, bad.

Raney Childress had some fun sparkin’ with Creed Sixkiller when she was a teenager, but the fun stopped when he proposed. He was, after all, an Indian, and even though his family owned one of the most prosperous ranches in the area, there was no way she could actually marry the guy. Her dad would just kill her. Years later, Raney is in a bind. Her younger brother Brass is running with a tough crowd, and participated in a shootout. Creed Sixkiller is acting as sheriff for some reason (never fully explained), and he jails Brass, who then escapes. Raney hears about Brass’s plight and goes to his rescue, leaving behind her annoying fiancé because he refuses to help. (I should add that I am really oversimplifying. All this takes quite a long time and involves much whining and italics from Raney, whose name, if you’re interested, is actually Coltrane. Yeah, I know. No doubt she’s named after the legendary saxophonist, who wouldn’t be born until 1926.)

Raney takes off toward San Antonio, because she is sure Brass will go there. Creed is also looking for Brass, and the two end up traveling together by default, which is pretty lucky for the clueless Raney – who neglected to actually pack anything for the trip. At first Raney wants to take off by herself (which would be pretty foolhardy, considering her general level of incompetence), but Creed keeps tabs on her. This is about the only reason I can think of for the title (The Captive), and it’s tenuous at best. Raney is never really Creed’s captive. (I suppose “The Traveling Companion” didn’t have quite the same ring to it).

During the trip to San Antonio, Raney really grows up. She realizes that:

• Her fiancé is a big jerk and she needs to dump him.
• Creed is, like, sooooo hot!
• She can cross a river by herself in her buggy!
• Like, who cares if Creed is an Indian?

Eventually (but not soon enough for me) Creed and Raney arrive in San Antonio, where they look for Brass and buy Raney some cute clothes. And have sex. And meet up with a couple they’d also seen on the road, so they have “chaperones.” Then Raney finds Brass and has to make a difficult choice, and then everything works out and everyone lives happily ever after. Except for the chaperones, but I won’t bother you with the details on that one.

I really had few arguments with Creed’s character. He’s a nice enough guy, if a little misguided in his taste in women. The main problem is Raney. At one point, she even accuses Creed of thinking she’s “too stupid to live.” At the time, I couldn’t help thinking that the description suited her to a T. However, as I read on I decided that Raney wasn’t so much stupid as she was incredibly childish. In fact, Raney repeated use of italics, her forgetfulness, her self-centered attitude, and her borrowing opinions from her parents all started to remind me of someone – my own preteen daughter. Even if you don’t have a twelve year old daughter, you’ve doubtless been twelve, and you know what it’s like. Your body is raging with so many hormones, you’re lucky if you can remember your lunch money and your backpack (or in my daughter’s case, her elusive and much-lost student ID). Everything that happens to you is dramatic and incredibly interesting – to you and your friends. One day, you’ll grow up to be an interesting adult, but you’re not there yet. At the end of the book, Raney is making strides toward adulthood, which would be great if she were twelve. She’s twenty. It’s not charming; it’s annoying. What makes it worse is that much of the book is devoted to Raney’s thoughts, and though she thankfully cuts down on the italics in the second half of the book, her thoughts are rarely interesting.

Raney’s annoying character is tough to take, but there are many things wrong with the book. The writing is weak, and poor sentence structure and word choice are common. Scenes intended to be hilarious are just dumb. At one point Creed goes through with an elaborate ruse, pretending to send smoke signals and burning Raney’s only skirt in the process. It’s nonsensical at best, and not funny at all. And the ending is silly as well, with a revelation about the villain that makes no sense.

There are some interesting issues raised in this book, and I’ve seen them handled in ways that work. For example, the heroine of Diane Farr’s Under a Lucky Star has a similar problem with blind obedience to her parents, but it’s handled in a way that’s both thoughtful and interesting. Farr’s heroine never comes across as a child. And I’d love to see a book that tackled the idea of a cross-cultural romance between a white woman and a native American, but I’ve nearly given up hope on that score. To date, every Indian romance I’ve tried merely feeds into old stereotypes about savages. This book at least raises questions about prejudice and cultural differences, but provides no real answers as to how the couple can live in an extremely prejudiced society. If anyone comes across a good historical romance that does this, let me know. In the meantime, I’d pass this one up in favor of a book about grown-ups.