The title is a bit goofy and the cover is cheesy, but none of that matters in light of the fact that the story is downright awful.

Myles Donal, powerful warrior and eldest son of the laird of the Donal clan, is reluctantly making his way through a snowstorm to marry the heiress of Eschoncan Keep. Her reputation precedes her, and he expects her to be hideous. Nearly frozen, he takes refuge in a small croft, and is greeted by a woman with the face of an angel, but who screams like a banshee.

The woman is Kendran of the Eschoncan family, though Myles assumes at first that she is simply a poor peasant. Kendran also happens to be taking refuge from the storm, and, coincidentally, her family is also forcing her into a marriage with someone she has no desire to marry.

Trapped in the cottage, they quickly begin lusting after each other: Myles peeks at Kendran while she bathes, and she explores his body while he sleeps. Kendran hates men because she has an abusive father, and she is shocked (shocked!) to find herself reacting so strongly to this man. They have a very short and rather primitive courtship, but soon enough end up in bed together even though they are not fully aware of the other’s identity. That complicates matters as they face further obstacles once they leave the cottage.

This premise of mistaken identities and forced betrothals originally held some promise. Alas, the characters are paper-thin, their dialogue is incredibly clunky, and the plot is muddled, with subplots that are unevenly handled throughout. The issue of abuse is a serious one, but I never felt that the book treated it seriously since Kendran overcomes her hatred of men rather quickly. Both Kendran and Myles are beautiful but thick-headed, and, unfortunately, I need more than that to keep me interested in their relationship.

There’s a fine line between making your characters eccentric instead of cartoonish, and, sadly, the secondary characters are the latter. Myles has an annoying young sidekick and Kendran’s half-sister Sybil appears to give omens, make threats with her magical powers, and tell them exactly what to do (and for no good reason other than because she says so). Sybil acting as Fate is just one of many things that didn’t help this period setting feel real. Throughout the story, the main characters continually fail to identify their feelings for each other, why they’re feeling that way, and what they’re going to do about it. In other words, they’re dense and helpless. Supposedly these characters are strong and determined and have a will of their own. Once they return to the castle to face further challenges to their relationship, they unfortunately display the backbone of a jellyfish, and just resort to doing whatever the mysterious Sybil tells them to do. This is neither fun nor satisfying.

This book was devoid of depth, realism, and genuine emotion. I couldn’t feel anything for the characters, and wondered at how they felt anything for each other.