How many people do you know with really strange names? Emmie Fox, the heroine of The Treasure knows lots of them. By the twentieth page, the reader has been introduced to the likes of: Borgle, Wombie, Sweep, Snoozer, Turnip, Cheap, Flash, Sprout, and Pilfer Oxleek. Later in the book Perdita Strangeways and Porkpie Snubbin join the ranks. These ridiculous names are good for a laugh or two, but they hardly help this debacle of a book.

Emmie Fox is part of the “swell mob” – an elite group of thieves in Victorian London who prey upon the city’s rich. Emmie has good intentions, however. She is responsible for her step-father’s illegitimate children, Flash, Sprout, and Phoebe. She wants the best for them , and stealing other people’s property is the easiest way to get it. Now that Flash is approaching school age, supporting her charges has gotten more expensive. Emmie decides to go after the legendary Beaufort Treasure – a stash of Spanish gold hidden by a Catholic on the eve of the Spanish Armada.

The treasure is located at the home of Valin North, Marquess of Westfield. Emmie poses as a well-born lady and finagles an invitation to Valin’s home. She figures she’ll find the treasure and be set for life. But she doesn’t count on falling in love with the handsome Valin. She feels a little guilty about pursuing the treasure after she sleeps with him, but not too guilty. Basically her time at Valin’s home is spent lying, finding the treasure, and pining after Valin. After she finds the treasure there is a lengthy end sequence of the “I-love-you-now-I-hate-you-now-I-love-you-again” variety.

There was almost nothing I liked about this book, but the heroine was definitely the worst part of it. I have read and enjoyed books with thieves as protagonists before, but the heroine here was so amoral that it just didn’t work. She mused a lot about how important it was for her wards to go to the right schools and make connections, but the chance of an illegitimate son of a thief (saddled with a name like Flash) actually making a connection seemed iffy at best. She had no problem relieving the hero of his property, even though he was a perfectly nice guy. I never could respect her, and I couldn’t respect him because he did respect her.

Even if I had liked both main characters, I would have tired of them by the end. I never saw what these two had in common outside the bedroom. They alternately loved and hated each other so many times I nearly got dizzy trying to keep up. And keeping up really wasn’t worth it. I recommend saving your time and money.