I’m probably one of the six people in America who will admit to liking junior high. Like anything, I thought it had its ups and downs, but most of the time I thought the melodrama and angst were kind of fun. That said, it’s not something I want to relive, and when I read a book with characters who give me that “junior high feeling,” I know I’m in for a tough read. As unlikely as it might seem given that The Warrior’s Game is a Medieval romance, the actions of the characters took me straight back to Holmdel Intermediate School, my pre-teen alma mater.

As a ward of King John, the widowed Amicia de Beres must tread carefully through the complicated maze of court politics. Unlike some widows, Ami wants to keep her virtue intact, and since she is of lower rank than many of the other women, she has used her attractiveness and her virtue to manipulate men at court. But when the king calls her in for a private audience, she thinks the game may be up. If he wants to sleep with her, there is little she can do to stop it.

The king probably does want to sleep with her, but he has promised her to one of his mercenaries, a commoner named Michel de Martigny. Ami (is this pronounced like Amy? Or maybe Ammy? We never know.) isn’t informed of the promise; instead she endures a humiliating exchange with Michel and a nobleman who has been overseeing her estates. The king dangles her in front of both as they debate her proper bride price. The king ends up stripping the nobleman of his responsibility for her lands and giving the honor to Michel. But Ami finds out about Michel’s new responsibility later, after she has shared a humiliating kiss with him in an alcove.

Until late in the book, the plot is tedious in the extreme. The gist of it is this:

1. Ami is attracted to Michel, but is humiliated by the very idea. Imagine wanting to sleep with a commoner! (He probably wears the wrong jeans, purchased from a discount store, no doubt.)

2. Michel knows Ami is attracted to him, and he thinks she’s attractive too. (Maybe he should try teasing her in front of her friends in study hall? Not in Medieval England, unfortunately.) Instead he skulks about because he knows she’s attracted to him in spite of her disdain for his common birth.

3. Ami plots and schemes to find ways to control Michel, most of which involve figuring out where Michel will be and putting herself there, presumably so she can use her charms to control him. (Let’s see, Michel has Social Studies third period, so I’ll want to position myself right in front of the cafeteria. He’ll walk right by!)
4. Oh wait – there was no “four.” That was pretty much it.

Things pick up a bit at the end, when the king decides on a bizarre game and sends Ami traveling over the countryside pursued by Michel and the other noble jerk who wanted to marry her. While there still is an annoying lack of trust between Ami and Michel, at least they stop “accidentally” bumping into each other and start having sex on purpose. Unfortunately, it all happens way too late to save the book. If I hadn’t been reading it for review, I would have given up early on.

It wasn’t really just the adolescent behavior of the characters that killed the book for me; Hampton has an awkward writing style that made the book slow going from the beginning. At least every other page I would find myself pulled out of the story (such as it was) by a stilted, confusing sentence or a bizarre word choice. Writing style is often something that gets overlooked in reviews, because if a writer is fairly competent and the writing is seamless, one tends to take it for granted. It can be one of those things you don’t think about – until you are reading something choppy and unpolished.

One thing I did appreciate was that Hampton had clearly done her research and did her level best to be historically accurate. Sometimes little historical tidbits were awkwardly inserted, but at least she made the effort. The Warrior’s Game was not Medieval “lite.” Good research is generally a big plus with me, but here it didn’t quite make up for the inferior writing style and the annoying characters. Much as it pains me to say so, I don’t think I’ll be trying Hampton again.