The Water Nymph
Grade : D

Some books can almost be summed up in a single word. For Michele Jaffe's The Water Nymph, that word would be convoluted. Picture a rough draft of an Amanda Quick novel with the pages all mixed up, and you have The Water Nymph.

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The story takes place in A href="http://www.likesbooks.com/tudor.html#4">Elizabethan England, on the eve of the Spanish Armada. The hero is Crispin Foscari, the Earl of Sandal - and also top secret operative known as "The Phoenix." Upon his return from Spain, Crispin is summoned by the queen, who tells him that because of undisclosed crimes he will be forced into retirement, and possibly even hanged. Crispin has two weeks to find out who is behind the conspiracy against him. He first turns to a man named Richard Tottle, but when he goes to meet Tottle he finds him dead. Near by he finds a gun and a receipt that seems to implicate one Sophie Champion.

Crispin finds Sophie, who is in a club, dressed as a man, and calling herself Don Alfonso. He thinks she might have some evidence, so he takes her home and orders her to "strip." She ends up falling into an exhausted sleep, naked, in his bed. Like Crispin, Sophie is looking for some information. Her godfather recently died in a suspicious accident, and his last words were about someone called "The Phoenix." When Sophie was in the club, she was also trying to get information from Tottle. Sophie and Crispin are suspicious of each other, and she is not exactly thrilled with his treatment of her, but they decide to work together (sort of) to find out what happened to Tottle.

That is just the bare bones of the plot, which meanders everywhere and is as difficult and boring to explain as it is to read. Sophie and Crispin are both gorgeous, and they hop quickly into bed with no thought at all to the consequences. After their lovemaking, they spend the rest of the book trying to decide whether they can trust each other with their secrets long enough to work together. Somewhere in the middle of this they supposedly fall in love, but I could never figure out why.

This book has problems on many levels. The first is the utter lack of feeling for the period. Some books have history that's like wallpaper, but here it's more like one of those small wallpaper borders you can pick up at Target. It's not just that there are anachronisms, although there are plenty of those; the book is just utterly modern in the way the characters think and talk. I wouldn't expect an Elizabethan romance to read like Shakespeare, exactly, but these characters sound like they're from Ally McBeal. This is shocking coming from an author with a Ph.D. in comparative literature.

Historical authenticity might not be everything, but these people would have been annoying in any time period. They bicker constantly over nothing and refuse to trust each other, but have no problem sleeping together. Sophie is a virgin at first, but she takes to sex like a duck to water. She enjoys walking around naked outside around fountains, which makes her look like a water nymph (hence the title). She is also a member of the "feisty heroines" club, with all the too-stupid-to-live behavior that implies.

But the worst problem is the writing itself. The book reads like an unedited, convoluted first draft that was pounded out in an afternoon. The plot is all over the place, and the author never seems to have any particular direction in mind. The book hops from scene to scene with little transition in between, although sometimes unclear plot points are explained several chapters later, almost as if they are afterthoughts.

Although the characters are unlikable, the setting is poorly-crafted, and the writing is choppy, this book really isn't entirely irredeemable. Somewhere in all the rubble there is a story that's not half bad , with a mystery to solve that just might be interesting. With heavy editing and major changes, this book could really improve. Since it's currently available as a finished product, in hard cover no less, I would recommend skipping it.

 

Reviewed by Blythe Smith
Grade : D

Sensuality: Burning

Review Date : June 8, 2000

Publication Date: 2001

Review Tags: 1500s Elizabethan

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Blythe Smith

I've been at AAR since dinosaurs roamed the Internet. I've been a Reviewer, Reviews Editor, Managing Editor, Publisher, and Blogger. Oh, and Advertising Corodinator. Right now I'm taking a step back to concentrate on kids, new husband, and new job in law...but I'll still keep my toe in the romance waters.
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