Who Wants To Be A Sex Goddess?
Who Wants To Be A Sex Goddess? is a hybrid chick lit/romantic suspense tale that takes place at a New Age kind of resort. I had problems with the book from practically the beginning and never warmed up to it at all. Chalk this up as a very silly story.
When stunt woman Ariadne (Andy) McAllister’s Aunt Mac vanishes at the Terra Bliss resort, a place where rich trophy women go to learn how to be the Goddesses they were meant to be, Andy’s family twists her arm till she agrees to disguise herself, check out the resort and see if she can find Aunt Mac. Go to the police? Why – where’s the zany fun in that?! So Andy subtly disguises herself as a frumpy librarian by putting her luxuriant hair in a tight bun – can’t be a frumpy librarian without a bun – then she hides her trim, toned body by donning an oversized, wrinkled navy blue suit, slathers on pale make-up for that “I’ve spent the past five years under florescent lights” look, and finally dons the last piece of her disguise – one that tempted me to send the book sailing to the wall. Andy puts on a pair of glasses with such thick coke-bottle lenses that she spends several chapters literally falling down because she can’t see.
I don’t know about you, but if I saw someone in that get up, I’d notice and remember them very well. So much for inconspicuous sleuthing.
In the meantime, PI Dillon Cross is undercover at Terra Bliss to look into the disappearance of another client. Dillon is disguised as one of the resort attendants, aka slave boys, whose uniform consists of short shorts or mini tunics and who cater to the women clients’ every wish (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Dillon is assigned to Andy as her personal attendant and evidently she gives off hot babe vibes even in her frump garb because Dillon has to tighten the old jock strap whenever he’s around her, all the while wondering why he’s gone all woody over a frump.
It doesn’t take too long for Andy to abandon her frump disguise, a good thing since she was in danger of killing herself by walking off a cliff while wearing those glasses. Andy’s friends at Terra Bliss think her change of style is due to her becoming empowered, Dillon falls in total lust with the new Andy, and they have frequent and acrobatic sex in a variety of places. All the while, they lie to each other about who they really are and why they are there at the resort.
Meanwhile it’s apparent that something very fishy is going on at Terra Bliss and that Demetri, one of the attendants, knows something about it. But Demetri is happy being a rich woman’s boy toy and he’s not telling anyone anything. Andy and Dillon muse about each other, make some desultory stabs at solving the mystery, and have hot sex – but they still keep their secrets until there’s a murder at the resort and they must come clean.
Bruce’s book features a jumpy plot, a huge cast of secondary characters (none of whom are particularly interesting) and a hero and heroine who aren’t very likable. The cartoony opening (did I mention how much I hated the glasses?) put me off and I never really got back into the book. Characters who lust after each other but at the same time are suspicious of each other strike me as stupid people and that was how Dillon and Andy acted for the vast majority of the book. Also, I think the whole self-help find your inner goddess thing is silly in real life and it was silly in the book.
I’m afraid Who Wants To Be A Sex Goddess struck out with me, although I give the book thumbs up for featuring a stunt woman as a heroine. Dillon was at first glance nothing but a hard bodied bad boy, yet he had a nice touch of vulnerability about him that was not used well at all – too bad, it would have made him a very good hero. Andy and Dillon had the potential to be a very sympathetic couple. Had they been a little less silly and cartoonish, this would have been a much better book.