About can we talk

This is a reader’s-only list for readers of romance novels. We aim to provide readers, who like the style of All About Romance, with a place all their own.

The people on this list love romance. Because they love it, they are often critical. To us, pulling a book apart, saying what we like and what we don’t like, is part of the fun. If you are offended by open discussion of the good and bad in romance novels (including ones that you like), this isn’t the place for you. This is not a list where people shyly apologize for having opinions or tiptoe around because someone knows an author personally.

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We ask that authors not participate in this list because we have noticed that many readers have a hard time expressing themselves frankly in fear of hurting writers’ feelings. No offense to writers is intended. After all, even a college literature class will host critical comments on books that are considered masterpieces. How many of us could really say what we thought of The Scarlet Letter if Hawthorne were present? We also ask that all posts to this list remain confidential and not forwarded to others off the list. And, because of the increase in the amount of spam, your subscription must be approved by a canwetalk moderator before it is finalized. Don’t worry – you won’t be asked for your “romance reader” card or anything; we just want to know your email address isn’t [email protected] before it is approved.

On this list, open discussion is the point. We’re all grown ups, and as long as we are courteous, we should be able to talk, to agree, to disagree, without feeling we’ll be flamed for having an honest and perhaps unpopular opinion. Can we talk here? We sure can!

Unlike AARList, which is open to authors and readers alike, discussions on canwetalk will not be used without permission for future articles here at AAR so as to preserve its free and unfettered nature. Discussions on AARlist, as its members are aware, may in fact be used in future articles at AAR.

Commands at a Glance:

Here are the basic list commands for you to use. (There is no need to fill out the subject lines or write any messages; just sending an email to the appropriate address from the address you would like to be subbed to/are already subbed to, takes care of everything.)

Contact Can We Talk

  • Subscribe to the list through email
  • Switch your subscription to digest
  • Switch your subscription to normal
  • To go No Mail (see above to “switch” back and receive mail again)
  • To send messages to the list
  • To send messages to listowner
  • You may also send messages to the listowner here

Guidelines to can we talk:

The following guidelines should answer most of your questions about the list and provide you with a code of behavior for being a member of this list. We welcome your participation and hope to hear from you soon.


The digest version of canwetalk is an automated system that compiles messages and sends them to subscribers of the digest after there is an accumulation of several messages. It is suggested but not required that if you only access your email once a day or are restricted by your Internet Service Provided (ISP) to a certain number of posts allowed to your mailbox that you subscribe to the digest version.
There is no charge. Yahoogroups maintains and services the two versions of this list as well as many others at no charge to the user.
Posts made to the list are not screened by anyone. It is strictly up to the sender to insure their own message meets the standards set for the list. Opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Listowner and the Listowner is unable to personally screen messages. Subscribers are also hereby informed that the presence of any particular individual on this list or recommendations made by other subscribers of this list are not to be construed as a recommendation by the Listowner.
The Listowner of canwetalk is Robin Uncapher. For questions specific to the list, you may contact [email protected].
Subscribers to the list are lovers of romantic fiction. Our list is comprised of readers, reviewers, web masters, and others who have a deep and abiding affection for romantic fiction. Our members come from around the world, and, at this time, number nearly 500.

Message Content:

The focus of the list is the discussion of romance novels from a reader’s perspective. As such, posts can include comments on books, a discussion of an author’s body of work, debates on plot devices, premises, or other issues arising from a discussion of books. The maintenance of personal libraries as well as the quirks of those of us who are obsessed with romance is also permissible, although very detailed information might be better served in the form of private postings. Debates on any of the above is allowed and encouraged as long as the tone of the discussion is kept polite. Messages made to the list should be of interest to the list in general and not a specific person on the list – posts to specific list members should be made privately.
Promotional announcements are not allowed on this list. This includes announcements about websites, book sales, upcoming columns, reviews, etc. Signatures may include promotional information and may be as long as five lines. Information on personal and other websites may be added to the “Links” section of canwetalk. Messages containing obscene language, offensive language, negative ethnic or race-related references, derisive or demeaning personal comments about anyone on the list, or profanity are not allowed. Other messages which are inappropriate include those designed to solicit money for any purpose. No commercial use of the list is allowed, and because of a recent increase in spam, membership must now be approved by a moderator so as to further limit commercial postings, which are never allowed at canwetalk. Finally, attachments are not allowed; yahoogroups’ software will remove them if included in a posting because of the proliferation of viruses.
While active and lively debate is encouraged on canwetalk, nasty, hostile attacks do nothing but make everyone uncomfortable, from the person being flamed to the rest of the list who has to “listen” to an argument which embarrasses us all. Flaming is not allowed. However, there are instances where a remark considered innocuous by someone is interpreted as anything but by another, resulting in an unintentional argument. Please use your good judgment, common sense, and common sense of decency before making a post that may be considered flaming or before believing you have been flamed. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt, but if you are certain you have been flamed, please take it up with the listowner off the list.

Originating Messages:

Address the message to [email protected] Make up a subject line that accurately reflects the main content of the message. The body of your message should be of interest to more than one or two list members.
however, tag lines should not be longer than 5 lines. Remember that this list is associated with a web site – All About Romance. However, the rule about no promotional postings applies to listmembers who are involved with AAR (including the moderators/owner). We want this to be a list unfettered by promotion. And, third-party postings are not allowed. In other words, if someone is not on the list and asks that you forward a message to the list, please say no. Also, even though this list is associated with AAR, discussions on canwetalk will not be used without permission for future articles here at AAR so as to preserve its free and unfettered nature.

Answering Messages:

This list is a community and the community is served by members helping members. How you help your fellow members, however, depends on what you are being asked. If someone is asking for help in identifying a book, you may respond on the list. If someone has introduced herself on the list, please reply privately. Introductions are good for the list, 20 “welcome to the list” posts are not. To make it easy to respond to a post privately, Yahoogroups provides the sender’s email at the top of each and every post made to the list.
If you have the tendency to send too many posts to the list, you might want to try to configure your mailer to automatically put in the originator’s email address and not the list address of [email protected] Answer to the list only if you feel the majority of the list will benefit from reading your reply. Short messages such as: Congratulations Me too Good luck Take care Feel better Thank you Unsub me Sub me make any list boring – these are better sent as private posts to the appropriate listmember/owner. Frequent violations will result in your being unsubscribed. So will frequently straying off-topic and/or not changing the subject line to reflect what your message contains.
It is appropriate to include enough of the message you are responding to so readers will understand the context of your response. Delete the extraneous parts of the header and footer to cut back on unneeded text. If you need help learning how to cut and paste, than please take the appropriate measures and learn.
Again, use a subject that reflects the main topic of the message. You may need to rename the topic if your response refers to something other than the original subject line.

Subscribing & Unsubscribing:

canwetalk is open to readers of romance novels; we ask that authors respect this guideline. Your request to join canwetalk will be approved within a day or so; you don’t have to show your x-ray/decoder ring or “romance reader” card at the door. We’re simply looking to make sure your address isn’t one of those [email protected] commercial addresses that exist solely to send spam.
This is a matter of personal preference. If you want to be a part of more “real time” discussions, then individual postings might be your best bet. If you prefer to check email once a day, the digest might be better for you. You can change your mind at any time. There is also a No Mail option if you’d prefer to check out postings at Yahoogroups’ web site.
The list is down for a time and no posts are getting through. Please be patient but know you might have to repost once the list is back online.

What If's:

For most of the guidelines, subscribers will be given several chances before being unsubbed from the List. However, use of the list for commercial purposes or flaming will result in immediate removal from the list. A copy of the guidelines will be mailed to you after you subscribe. Please save this email and/or bookmark this page for future reference. If you have any problems with this, you may e-mail the listowner at [email protected]. Please include in the subject line that your message is about the list so that it can be processed timely.