“Rape does for a woman’s sexual fantasy what the first martini does for her in reality: both relieve her of responsibility and guilt. By putting herself in the hands of her fantasy assailant – by making him an assailant – she gets him to do what she wants him to do, while seeming to be forced to do what he wants. Both ways she wins, and all the while she’s blameless, at the mercy of a force stronger than herself…. It’s worth repeating my conviction that fantasy need have nothing to do with reality, in terms of suppressed wish-fulfillment.” –Nancy Friday, My Secret Garden
My own best take on “forced seduction”, which is all about fantasy because there’s no such thing as forced seduction in real life. In real life it’s rape, a crime of violence, not sex:
“Then again, the “rape fantasy” is a fairly common one for many women – and it has nothing at all to do with being raped in real life. It’s been explained better than I can, but I’ll try: women are the care-givers in the world, responsible for other people’s pleasure. So the “fantasy” of giving up that control and responsibility can be very attractive. And when you add in that women today are independent and self-actualized to some extent, it can become even more attractive. If in real life you are a powerful, independent, liberated woman, maybe your fantasy is the opposite, sort of like if I met a man in real life who was like many of the romance novel heroes I love, I’d run for the hills.