You know, the kind that I’m sure is popular with all the pedophiles. Because, gee, where else can you see a four-year old tot in a bikini getting a spray tan?
I’m talking Toddlers & Tiaras, a show brought to us by The Learning Channel, that bastion of “serious” programming, that takes any latent Jon Benet fixation from which you may be suffering to the next level. In the privacy of your own home you can tsk-tsk as pushy and deeply disturbed mothers paste on false eyelashes, wax and pluck to the accompaniment of screams from the hapless toddlers, and just generally browbeat their children into endless rehearsals and grooming – all while deeply embedding within the little innocents the idea that beauty is everything.
And, yep, I find it fascinating. And, nope, I’m not proud of it.