An apology for today’s the ask@AAR
I am so sorry for the phenomenal insensitivity and stupidity of today’s Ask. I had written it earlier in the week in a poorly thought out effort to connect romance to the wider world. It was dumb and horrible and, in retrospection, I wonder how I could have been so tone deaf. I have taken it down. It obviously never should have gone up in the first place. Again, I apologize.
Dabney
After trying to figure out the best way to help those in Ukraine, I decided to donate through CARE. It’s a highly rated organization for its honest charitable work and it’s set up for US donors.
Here’s the link.
Dabney, seeing that I did see the post and commented on it, I feel I should comment yet again. Don’t worry. I think it was very good of you to take down the original post and to apologize. Let those of us who have never made a mistake throw the first stone. Thank you for your reaction, you did make me think about certain topics by the way with the initial post, so at least to me no harm done.
Well done, Dabney. xx
Dabney, anyone who follows you on this site knows that you operate with the best of intentions, with a generous, kind heart and an open mind. You grant us grace when we misstep. It would be churlish of us not to do the same for your extremely rare mistakes. I hope you are having a better day today. Always remember that in the balance of things you do much more good for people than you’ll ever know.
That is so lovely of you–I’m happy to hear you feel like this is a forgiving and accepting place. That’s the goal. <3
I certainly know how one can start with the best of intentions and yet wind up far from where you meant to go. I didn’t see today’s Ask because you had the wisdom and humility to recognize an error and then correct it. Thank you for everything you do for the AAR community — you have sparked enough joy among the website’s readers to grant yourself absolution for the occasional mishap.
The important thing is that you immediately took steps when you had second thoughts about the post. None of us is perfect and all of us have encountered situations that required us to walk back something we did or said. That you did so with a humble heart and a sincere apology speaks volumes about your character.
It would take more than one misstep to make us not love you. I, too, did not see it, but suspect that you are blowing it our of proportion, which, of course, too many people on social media just live to pounce.
No–it really was stupid. But we are all stupid more than once in our lives. That is the proportion I cling to. And thanks. I find the community at AAR life sustaining.
It was really dumb of me. I was, on Wednesday, thinking about how wartime romances give us empathy and an understanding of how serious the sacrifices and horrors of war are. I wrote the post out and then, without giving it anywhere nearly enough thought, especially given the terror we are all experiencing, didn’t pull it. That’s all on me and I feel so small for having gotten it so wrong.
I didn’t see it,but I want to join in saying we all misstep sometimes even with the best of intentions. Don’t beat yourself up. You recognized the issue, changed it and apologized. Way to adult!! I have more respect for people who make mistakes and recognize them than those who never admit they do.
Thank you. We are so often judged only by our missteps. This was one for sure. But it’s lovely to hear such acceptance for my mess ups from AAR readers.
Making mistakes is part of being human. Acknowledging mistakes is what makes us better at being human.
TerryS, Wish I could thank you dozens of times. trish
I did not see what you posted but can guess the general drift. We’ve all been there (said/written something “tone deaf”) in an effort to start a conversation or to share some thoughts with the best of intentions only to realize . . . yikes! What is important is how you’ve responded – with a heartfelt apology. I’m sure I speak for many here at AAR when I say, “accepted”. Best wishes for a better rest of your day ;-)
Dabney, A very wise elderly man once told me “And that’s why God put erasers on pencils.” One misstep, quickly and sincerely acknowledged, and hastily corrected. I think we all appreciate the enormous amount of work you do. Thank you.