Desert Isle Keeper
Crushing on You
Ever since I finished Crushing On You, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. Romance generally doesn’t challenge me to read a messy heroine who behaves badly, so I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on Crushing’s troubled heroine, Anna Tang.
Anna, an aspiring music journalist, meets Ian Gao when they are airplane seatmates on the way to the wedding of a mutual friend. Their wedding hookup is unfortunately interrupted by a phone call from Ian’s mom, and Anna irately determines to put him out of her mind. But a chance encounter at the neighborhood climbing gym and a job opportunity for Anna at Ian’s company push the two back together, and soon they’re dating – until the fight of all fights blows them apart.
Anna is an extremely difficult heroine. I don’t mean that she’s ineffectively written; she’s just realistically a person who would be, well, extremely difficult to know. Professionally, she’s credibly constructed. While working as an admin to pay the bills, she lives for music and wants to be a music journalist, and I completely believed she’d be good at it; a sample of her writing about music sounds legitimately like it belongs in an online publication. It’s Anna’s personal life, and her behaviors in relationships, which are so problematic. She has a no-dating-Asians rule, which actually means an ‘I have unresolved childhood issues about my abusive Asian dad and stepdad and Asian extended families and have decided use this rule instead of seeing people I meet as individuals’ (By the way, I’ve seen ‘Asian heroine who won’t date Asian boys but oops, the hero is Asian’ used more and more often as a plot device. The way it’s handled here is better than most because Anna has real trauma around her racial and cultural background, but it’s still a trope I’m not comfortable with).
Furthermore, Anna talks a great game about wanting to be independent, but lives with her ex because his family owns the building and he charges her a pittance in rent. While living there, she starts seeing and sleeping with Ian while knowing full well that her ex is letting her stay because he’s hoping to get back together with her. And from him, she moves right in with Ian. She demands that Ian cancel his parents’ traditional Thanksgiving visit, where they stay at his apartment, because she’s so convinced they won’t like her. Did I mention that his mom is having chemo?
But difficult people exist, and deserve stories and a chance at happiness, as well as everyone else. Anna survived trauma, but that trauma haunts her and affects her ability to see people and her own choices clearly. She has to prioritize survival because she lacks the safety net most people take for granted. (This stands out strikingly in a genre where women who have suffered often fortuitously inherit ranches, bakeries, or entire NFL teams.)
Plus, the author acknowledges that Anna has significant issues, and needs to grow and change. Anna and Ian separate for a sequence that is not only longer than the typical romance novel Separation Phase, but also comes much earlier in the book. This gives Anna time to make a deeper, more credible examination of her life and to reform it. I wish Anna had been given even more changes, especially some form of therapy, but I felt the change happening.
What about Ian? He’s a ripped, hot, affluent computer programmer and passionate rock climber who is utterly dedicated to his family (witness interrupting a hookup to take care of his mother). His biggest flaw is being standoffish in the workplace. He’s actually an engaging hero, but beside Anna, there’s less to say about him. He changes, too, but it’s more a case of figuring out a way to be happier than fixing severe issues.
Chapters are written in the first person, alternating between Anna and Ian. This is the author’s first book, and it’s self-published, which leads to occasionally stilted prose. The sex scenes, however, are hot and well-written, and kudos to the author for being the first romance writer I’ve read to include Plan B emergency contraception. The writing smooths out as the book proceeds, both in terms of plot (the beginning is slow) and prose. I could not predict what would happen next, because Anna and Ian were moving through life like real people, not like characters following a relationship-based plot arc. By the last few chapters, I was devouring the story and snapping at anybody in my vicinity who wanted to divert my attention from the book.
The author presents a painfully honest reckoning with Chinese-ness and the social pressures the characters are subjected to by those networks. The dialogue, when Anna and Ian fight, is raw. Anna scoffs,
“You are literally the Chinese-American dream… you’re a fucking caricature. Ivy League grad, high salary, filial piety. Did you ever, I dunno, have a dream of your own? You literally just became the person that your parents wanted you to be, that all of our culture wanted you to be.”
Ian retorts:
“So your life is somehow more glamorous? You must feel so fucking self-righteous, working shit jobs, living with your ex, not giving a damn about anyone but youself but still needing people to take care of you. Is that what you call passion? Or independence?”
The dialogue bursts with the viciousness of a real-life fight, colored with the blows only an OwnVoices author would know to have her characters strike. It’s painful in a way romance seldom is – but also completely gripping.
It’s hard to review something I think will polarize people. Ultimately, the book is just too interesting for me to give it less than an A-. It doesn’t completely succeed at all points, especially because the beginning takes a while to get going. With several decades and thousands of romance titles under my reading belt, it takes a lot for me to find a book in this genre completely unique. If you’re looking for a book that’s fresh but also unapologetically challenging, Crushing On You is well worth a read.
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I'm a history geek and educator, and I've lived in five different countries in North America, Asia, and Europe. In addition to the usual subgenres, I'm partial to YA, Sci-fi/Fantasy, and graphic novels. I love to cook.
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Book Details
| Reviewer: | Caroline Russomanno |
|---|---|
| Review Date: | April 5, 2021 |
| Publication Date: | 12/2019 |
| Grade: | A- |
| Sensuality | Hot |
| Book Type: | Contemporary Romance |
| Review Tags: | AoC | Burlfriends series | PoC |
I picked up this book solely on the basis of Caroline’s review and really enjoyed it. I think her cautions were helpful before reading. I really enjoyed the unexpected twists in the book. It’s great when AAR highlights romances I don’t see hyped everywhere.
My question is how did Caroline find this book? And does anyone have suggestions for finding other good indie romances that fly under the radar?
I’m glad you liked the book and I’m so happy the review was helpful!
I am doing a personal reading goal of more Asian and Asian-American authors. I can’t remember how I found this book precisely, but I found it while doing a general Google search for Asian American romance novels. I wish I had better tips for you on navigating the indie world, but I haven’t cracked that one yet!
Ah, this is exactly what I like to read! Thank you. I’ll watch for your reviews.
Hi I was just trying to reply to a post on the Agora, but it needed a password. I was wondering if I could get some help with that.
On another note, I loved this book and I think this detailed review highlighted some of the most intriguing aspects of the book and its problems as well. As a South Asian woman, I too fell into the trap of not wanting to date Indian man in my late teens and early twenties. I never examined the reasons why till I was a little older, but much of it was to do with a sense of rebellion and also internalised racism. I viewed all men in my culture to be extremely sexist and controlling.Unlike the heroine, I have a terrific father who is a great role model, so I really had no excuse for viewing people as stereotypes rather than layered and complex individuals. As a result, like the reviewer, I am not a fan of the ‘I don’t date other Asians’ trope, unless there is some self-examination of the part of the hero or heroine.
What I loved most of this book is that the characters felt very real and their struggles were not manufactured for the sake of plot. Both characters learnt from each other and gained a different perspective on family and culture.
In the British TV series “Happy Valley” police sergeant Catherine Cawood offers Plan B to a co-worker. My first thought when I saw it was that it would never, ever happen on an American TV show as it would be too controversial. Here, the scene is over in a minute and nothing is made of it going forward.
Master of None and Shrill both featured it. I think we’ll see more birth control as fewer Americans identify as religious.
I would think it’s less that and more the drift from cable/network TV, which is theoretically “universal” and has stricter regulations for what’s permissible. Master of None is Netflix and Shrill is Hulu. It’s very easy to rebut the “but what if a CHILD sees this?” with “Don’t give them your password.” Plus, with streaming models, a few well-organizes self-righteous consumers can’t pressure advertisers. All an attempt to stir up outrage does is boost publicity for the platform.
I hear you but still suspect that TV will become more birth control friendly.
Caroline, you mentioned that this book was self-published. Do you think that is relevant here? Is this more analogous to streaming platforms than the products of mainstream publishing houses?
The only romance I’ve ever read with Plan B (can’t remember what it was now), the hero dumps it down the sink and the heroine sobs and gets sort of performatively mad, because she’s secretly so glad this guy she just slept with for the very first time did that and is mad at herself for feeling that way.
It’s definitely a possibility that self-pubbing made her feel empowered to do this. I am sure most Harlequin lines would frown on it but I can’t speak to other publishers. Even Harlequin’s Carina might be more flexible.
This sounds very interesting. I confess I shy away from romances with Asian characters sometimes because I dislike the cultural, multi-generational pressures often faced by the main characters, even if the expectations and meddling are played for laughs. It seems so much a fixture in romances with Asian protagonists that it gets old for me. Plus, family meddling is one of my least favorite tropes of all time, in any time-period or country. However, if the pressures are actually a focus and discussed,like it seems they might be here, then it could be worth reading. I’d love to see both a realistic portrayal of the damage done by some of these cultural pressures, as well as how they bring people together and help form continued continuity and bonds within a family.
Like you pointed out, meddling can be very damaging – in fact, Anna’s issues stem from her mother succumbing to family pressure to marry, and twice ending up in extremely bad relationships in which Anna suffered. Anna has completely cut off contact with her family. Ian’s family is present, but they are loving and supportive rather than manipulative. There’s no meddling here, and I think it explores exactly what you’re curious about.
For some reason – perhaps the centrality of family, perhaps publishers feeling like they need something white people connect to before accepting an Asian story – a LOT of East Asian and South Asian romances I’ve read are Jane Austen adaptations. Austen is of course rife with meddling. Since Crushing On You is its own plot, if you’re hoping to diversify your TBR while avoiding a disliked trope, this is definitely one to try.
Aww, this sounds like a lot of fun! On the pile it goes!
It’s dark at at times – I would definitely not say it’s “fun.” It’s rich and thought-provoking and good, just not “fun.” I wouldn’t want you to be disappointed picking it up on a day when you’re looking for cheerfulness!
Oh yeah – fun is relative, but sometimes I even consider angst fun.
Calling it Crushing on You makes it sound like a YA to me.
It’s a pun here. Crushing is a rock climbing term. But yes, it does have a vibe that’s younger and less intense than this story.