There is the kernel of an interesting idea in Paula Lafferty’s The Once and Future Queen. A modern woman who is basically the reincarnation of Guinevere must go back to Camelot to save the day. I’m down for that (I mean, I picked this book to review based on that premise!). But the execution is so clunky and the past is such a non-thing, that I can only see it as a missed opportunity.

Vera (no last name) is an overlooked nobody who works in an inn in the ancient town of Glastonbury and likes to go jogging. She’s mourning the loss of some guy named Vincent, although don’t worry too much about him because he’s just a plot device to provide some Angst. One day, a man with a beard shows up and tells Vera that he’s Merlin (yes, that Merlin), and she’s really Guinevere (yes, that Guinevere), who, with the help of magic and time travel, was transported from her time to be turned into an infant so she could grow up in our current time until such a day as he would fetch her back to Camelot. Apparently, she witnessed a horrific act that drained magic from the world, and if she doesn’t come back to the past and remember what she saw, the world as she knows it – both past and present – will cease to exist.

After a token amount of freaking out at this sudden revelation and very little disbelief or skepticism, Vera says “cool” (actually, she probably says ‘Fucking cool’) and agrees to go back to the past. She tosses her running shoes in a bag and they’re off to Camelot.

Once in her proper time of six-hundred-something, Vera settles right in. It turns out that despite the legends and myth, she and Lancelot weren’t having an affair. (Lancelot is the gay best friend without the gay.) Arthur is brooding and hostile for no apparent reason which turns into the ‘I’m keeping you at arms’-length for your own good’ trope.

Vera is a thoroughly modern girl (we know this because she says “fuck/fucking” and “shit” a lot) who has no problems coping with life in the seventh century. She jogs (with Lancelot) in special magically-created running clothes, proves to be a dodgeball champ, teaches Lance how to high-five, and shows King Arthur his first ever sunrise (?!?), meaning she’s Not Like Other Girls. She even gets to train with Arthur’s soldiers.

I never did get a handle on the magic system. To be honest, I got to the point where I didn’t really even care, and had the same lack of interest in Vera’s goal of regaining her memories. Characters occasionally supply helpful info dumps to help things make sense, but when there was some mishegas about sensory deprivation tanks (in the seventh century), I was over it. The world building is surface level, existing only as needed to meet the needs of the characters and the plot.

Almost to the end, I found the relationships between Arthur and Vera and Lancelot and Vera to be confusing. Lance gets a lot of page time, and he and Vera are certainly cozy. He even has his own nickname for her (Guinna). But then Arthur is painted as her real love and there is a connection, I guess. They are physically attracted to each other but can’t act upon that for Reasons. Considering that King Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot might just be the OG love triangle, this didn’t give me any of the feels.

But I think my biggest issue is that this book is the very definition of Anachronism Stew. Vera has jumped almost 1400 years into the past, but you’d never know it based on how little difference it makes in her life. Then again, there is nothing to adjust to because everything is exactly the same as it is now, except with castles and swords and horses. It’s the Present-Day Past, with chambermaids who interact with the Queen like besties, and even legit make-up artists armed with non-toxic, wholly organic supplies. Everyone speaks like it’s twenty-twenties America. Even Merlin gets in on the game, using up some of his precious time-travel tokens to go back and pick up “contemporary” books to make Vera feel more at home while she’s in the past. It’s supposed to be the romance and chivalry of Arthurian England with all the mod-cons. I mean come on, jogging? It happens a lot.

If this book was edited at all, I would be shocked, and if it was, someone needs to be fired. The pacing is wonky, and so much of the writing reads like a first draft that needed several rounds of tightening up. It’s a perfect example of why many of us have lost all faith in traditional publishers to put out a high quality book. Erewhon Books is a department of Kensington Books, a company that should have known better than to publish something that needed several more rounds of editing, at the very least.

In the end, I cannot recommend The Once and Future Queen (but I will hazard a guess that it ends up with a gazillion stars and BookTok raves). It’s a wallpaper historical fantasy without any of the charm inherent in its original source material.