NOTE: This review will contain spoilers from books one and two of the Vicious Lost Boys series and profane material quoted from the book. You’ve been warned.

Imagine, if you will, that you’ve ordered the most luscious banana split sundae. The server brings it to you and you pick up your spoon, so excited to dive into what has all the ingredients of a perfect dessert. But before you take a single bite, the server opens a can of motor oil and pours it all over the top. This is the experience of reading Their Vicious Darling, book three of the Vicious Lost Boys series by Nikki St. Crowe.

As before, we pick up where we left off at the end of the previous book. After a battle with Captain Hook and Fae Queen Tilly, Peter Pan has re-possessed his shadow and now has his powers back. His first order of business after centuries of searching and the relief of learning he won’t actually die? Find Winnie “Whore” Darling and make use of one or more of her holes, of course. Because, as you’ll recall from my last review, Winnie has a Magical Vagina.

Unfortunately, due to some manipulations by Lost Boy groupie/sister of Captain Hook, Cherry, Winnie has been possessed by Neverland’s Dark Shadow. As a refresher, each of the seven Isles in this imaginary realm has two shadows, a Shadow of Life and a Shadow of Death, aka Dark Shadow. Neverland’s Dark Shadow had been missing, but now it’s inside of Winnie. Don’t worry. She’s still able to fuck copiously and in a wide variety of positions, even while in flight!

Meanwhile, Vane’s–Vane is Pan’s closest friend and is one of the Four who share Winnie’s magical vagina–brother, The Crocodile, has arrived in Neverland with the royal family from Darkland (I can’t make this stuff up) to help them retrieve Darkland’s Dark Shadow from where it resides inside Vane. Roc (see what St. Crowe did here?!) is the one who, with Peter Pan’s assistance, cut off Captain Hook’s hand for reasons that will be discussed later. His loyalties are somewhat nebulous. Roc hates Hook, wants to kill Peter Pan, is assisting the royal family in their hunt for Vane, but refuses to hurt or kill his brother. He’s actually some kind of man-devouring beast, and if he doesn’t consume blood on a very particular schedule, all bets are off.

Meanwhile, Hook and Tilly are still plotting to destroy Peter Pan so they can rule Neverland. But now that Pan has his full powers back, the fae princes Kas and Bash think that with his help, they can usurp their sister from the throne and take back the Fae court. Then, together, they can banish Hook and unite all of Neverland.

And running underneath everything, we learn some things about Wendy Darling. It’s rather confusing and I actually had to return to books one and two and take notes to suss it all out. To save you, dear reader, the trouble, here’s how it goes (I think): Pan fell in love with the Original Darling (no name), but Tinkerbell killed her after Tink stole Pan’s shadow and framed the OD for it. Thankfully, the OD had a little sister who witnessed the crime, and it’s the sister’s descendants that Pan snatches on their eighteenth birthdays to suck their memories for the whereabouts of his missing shadow.

Wendy Darling is one of those descendants (and the great-great-grandmother of Winnie). When Wendy arrived in Neverland, Croc the Roc was visiting Vane, spotted the lovely Darling and fell in love (or something – I’m not quite sure because he may be psychotic). But Captain Hook (not yet hooked at this point) stole Wendy away, prompting Roc and Pan to cut off Hook’s hand. Having no more need for her, Pan spirited Wendy away, supposedly back to the normal, mortal world, but in actuality, he ditched her in Everland (yes, really) where she remains to this very day. Thing is, when Pan left her, Wendy was pregnant, and it is the result of that pregnancy that leads directly to Winnie Whore. But who is the father and thus Winnie’s direct ancestor?…Is it Pan? Roc? Hook? No spoilers here!

So, why the D+ grade? In this book, we finally, finally get some plot that doesn’t involve sex. And it is really intriguing. Winnie being possessed by the Dark Shadow leads to some very interesting and exciting situations, and while Roc is a bit of a cypher, his presence and the mystery around Wendy kept me reading, wanting to find answers. All this was the banana split, so tempting and promising!

Sadly, the book is still bogged down with Winnie, Possessor of the Mary Sue Vagina, and she’s no better than she was in the first two books. In fact, in addition to having four hot magical men wrapped around her finger, Winnie now has the protection of a wolf, specifically, the reincarnated pet wolf Balder that belonged to Kas and Bash. And she can understand him when he speaks to her.

What is truly hilarious, however, is we get this thought from Winnie:

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I am 100% a sex-positive kind of girl. I like sex and I don’t try to hide that. But I’m not usually so damn needy for it.”

Oh please! Because two pages later, Winnie gives us this:

“I would have noticed if [Pan] was carrying a pile of heavy coins in his pants. Trust me. I notice everything that goes on in his pants.”

And two pages after that, she has this conversation with Pan:

“Only I [Pan] will be on my knees for you.”
“Not just you,” I remind him.
[Pan] sighs. “Yes, fine. Vane, the twins, and myself. Better?”
I frown. “I’m not sure. Why don’t you show me what you mean?”

Literally the ONLY personality trait Winnie has is being a sex maniac. That’s it. She’s been in Neverland for a week and she’s had a hundred thousand orgasms. Even the boys think of her as nothing but holes. During one sexcapade, they send her running so they can chase her, with Vane promising, “Whoever finds her first gets to pick a hole.”

And pardon my crudeness, but this is the first time in my long life that I have experienced a scenario wherein two men both fuck a woman at the same time using the same hole!! I don’t even think this is anatomically possible. Are they synchronized? Isn’t there friction? I just can’t fathom…

Anyway, the boys continue to abuse Winnie (to her delight), even admitting to themselves that maybe they take things too far.

“You think we’re mistreating her?” [Kas] asks next.
“Oh definitely.” (says Bash)
He snorts. “We’re all depraved assholes. She’s probably better off without us.”

And Pan suggests:

“Let’s use her, Vane. You and me.”

But, again, Winnie LOVES being degraded so it’s all good. And the boys LURRVE her. How do we know this?

Because when Winnie passes out after being sexually brutalized, Vane scoops her up protectively, and when Pan tries to take her, Vane gets all possessive. And when Kas and Bash contemplate taking Winnie to the Fae Court to be a queen, Pan says no way, but dang, he could build her a castle fit for a queen. And after all four men fuck her various holes in various combinations:

“They all dote on me. Kas gets me clean clothes and a warm sweater. Bash whips up a batch of cloudberry pancakes…Vane pours me a drink…Pan makes me a cup of fresh coffee to chase down the alcohol.”

Even when Winnie performs some interesting, non-sexual action, it’s not her doing it. It’s the new Dark Shadow inside of her. The girl is a vacuum of nothingness. She’s a hole.

I’m going to finish the series. I’m in this far, so I might as well. And I’m so, so sad because it had so much potential! It’s as if St. Crowe had this fantastic concept for an adult, dark Pan retelling and said ‘You know what would make this better? A bunch of really gross, degrading, misogynistic porn.’ And then she focused on the porn.

Please note that this book contains many potential triggers that I will not list here but which can be found on the author’s website: https://www.nikkistcrowe.com/content-warnings