Gone with the Wind is not a romance novel. But it is often mistaken for one – it made the Top 100 Romances at AAR in 1998 and in 2000. (See also here. And here.) And Rhett Butler is often lauded as a romantic hero. In truth, he is a rake and scoundrel, a forerunner if you will to the many rakes and scoundrels that people the pages of historical romances. The original, totally hot bad boy – and in my humble opinion, a douchebag.
When Rhett first meets Scarlet she is 16 to his 33. She is acting like exactly what she is – a spoiled, willful child who isn’t getting her way and isn’t at all used to that sensation. Rhett, who eavesdropped on the scene between her and Ashley that instigated the tantrum, mocks her and laughs at her. This pretty much defines their relationship. Just my opinion but a man who ridicules you is, as Scarlet tells Rhett numerous times, “no gentleman”. That’s not a surprise. At the very start of the novel we are told: “He has the most terrible reputation. His name is Rhett Butler and he’s from Charleston and his folks are some of the nicest people there but they won’t speak to him. . He was expelled from West Point (for drunkenness and something involving women). . . . And then there was that business about the girl he didn’t marry.” Rhett has a long history of not rescuing the women he gets in trouble, which in his time would definitely qualify him as “no gentlemen”.
But Rhett falls far beneath not being a gentleman. It is not just that he treats Scarlet badly or that he goads her until he brings out the worst in her because he believes that “virtues are stupid.” No, the moment that I decided he was a complete douche is when he completely abandons her in her hour of need.
The scene: Atlanta is falling, Scarlet is taking a wagon (which Rhett procured for her) full of vulnerable people back to Tara. The journey will be a dangerous one and Rhett could easily escort them. He chooses not to:
“But Rhett – You- Aren’t you going to take us?”
“No. I’m leaving you here.”
She looked around wildly, at the livid sky behind them, at the dark trees on either hand hemming them in like a prison wall, at the frightened figures in the back of the wagon, – and finally at him. Had she gone crazy? Was she not hearing right?
He was grinning now. She could just see his white teeth in the faint light and the old mockery was back in his eyes.
“Leaving us? Where – where are you going?”
“I am going, dear girl, with the army.”
Let’s break this scene down a bit. The wagon is full of women (one seriously ill) and children. The road is filled with dangerous bandits and possibly enemy soldiers. Rhett has steadfastly refused to fight for the cause (he worked as a blockade runner because it was profitable) – until this very minute. Their continued conversation proves just how much of a jerk he truly is:
She grabbed his arm and felt her tears of fright splash down on her wrist. He raised her hand and kissed it.
“Selfish to the end, aren’t you my dear? Thinking only of your own precious hide and not of the gallant Confederacy. Think how our troops will be heartened by my eleventh hour appearance.” There was a malicious tenderness in his voice.
“Oh, Rhett,” she wailed, “how can you do this to me? Why are you leaving me?”
“Why?” he laughed jauntily. “Because, perhaps, of the betraying sentimentality that lurks in all of us Southerners. Perhaps – perhaps because I am ashamed. Who knows?”
“Ashamed? You should die of shame. To desert us here, alone, helpless -”
“Dear Scarlett! You aren’t helpless. Anyone as selfish and determined as you is never helpless. God help the Yankees if they should get you.”
First, a clarification. Scarlett is not just thinking of “her own precious hide”. If she were, she would abandon the wagon full of dependents, take the horse and ride off into the sunset. Instead, she has to take care of them on that long trek home.
Second, Rhett isn’t helping the cause by adding one soldier to a losing army and abandoning needy women and children. He is being himself and doing exactly what he accuses Scarlett of – thinking only of himself. He could make a real difference on the wagon ride to Tara. The battle he is joining? Already lost. Additionally, not too long before this scene unfolds we are told:
Against no one was feeling more bitter than against Rhett Butler. He had sold his boats when blockading grew too hazardous, and he was openly engaged in food speculation. The stories about him that came back to Atlanta from Richmond and Wilmington made those who received him in other days writhe with shame.
It is highly probable that Rhett is less moved by the cause and more trying to figure out how to do what he accuses Scarlet of “save his own hide”. He needs something to show to the people of the South that he is worthy of staying among them.
Third, not only does he desert her but he insults her on the way out.
I know that Scarlett is no prize. She is far from the perfect heroine. But that doesn’t change the fact that Rhett insults, belittles, and bullies her throughout the book. The only redeeming virtue he ever develops is that he’s nice to kids. There is no big change in how he treats his heroine. No grovel. In fact, he ends the book with what I feel was actually his attitude all along – he didn’t give a damn. When she stopped being an amusing plaything, he left. He was good at that.
So now it is time to ask the question to AAR Staffers: Is Rhett Butler a dreamboat or a douchebag?
Lee: Well obviously I haven’t seen the movie for a long time and I read the book many years ago. I don’t recall Rhett being the douchebag as you described him. But now, with your evidence, it appears he was indeed quite the scalawag. And of course with his signature line of “frankly I don’t give a damn,” that pretty much sums up his character.
Caz: It’s a long time since I read the book or saw the film, but I do remember those things you point out, especially the part where he leaves Scarlett to join the army. Perhaps the author intended for it to make him seem honourable somehow in that he finally decides it’s time to join up and do his bit, but I agree that modern sensibilities are unlikely to see it that way, and I pretty much agree with your take on it.
But in spite of that, I don’t remember disliking him intensely, and at times, felt that Scarlett got what she deserved at his hands. Although she definitely didn’t deserve desertion. Scarlett is the blueprint for many of the annoying, TSTL “feisty” heroines we still see in HR, yet Mitchell does show us how strong she is through all the things she does, like nursing the wounded, caring for Melanie – but she remains recognisably Scarlett because she’s still got those selfish impulses – she just doesn’t act on them, which is a sign of her growing up. We don’t get that with Rhett – I tend to think of him as an old-skool hero, one who very much takes a back seat to the heroine, and thus he’s not as well rounded.
Unlike some of the other heroes we’ve discussed, I can’t remember anything about him that pushes him into dreamboat territory. He may be a handsome charmer, but he lacks the inner qualities that are needed to make him a true romantic hero, IMO.
Haley: It’s been ages since I read the book but I think whatever pushed him into dreamboat territory was Clark Gable’s portrayal. Gable is swarthy and heave handed to Leigh’s Scarlett but he’s damn sexy doing it. I mean, who didn’t want to be carried up the stairs by Clark Gable?
Blythe: Well, as you know, I named my oldest daughter after Scarlett O’Hara, so obviously I am a fan. Not just of her, but of Rhett, and I’ll defend him as a dreamboat. It’s funny that their age difference never registered with me, since I read GWTW when I was fifteen and would have had zero interest in a thirty year old man at the time. What I did feel about Rhett was that he was educated and self-aware. Scarlett isn’t. She’s smart, but she’s not an intellectual; she’s smart about business like her dad. She’s also remarkably obtuse about men and her relationship with them. Rhett loves her anyway.
When Rhett leaves her to get to Tara by herself, he has his reasons. Most notably, he knows that Scarlett isn’t in love with him. She will be eventually, but it’s the tragedy of the book that it takes her too long to realize it. I always thought that eventually she’d get him back. And I think he’s a dreamboat worth getting back.
Shannon: I’ve read the book three times, but only saw the movie once. He’s definitely a douchbag.
Dabney: I can’t see Rhett in a vacuum. I judge him in the context of Scarlett. In that context, I think he is–if these are the choices–a dreamboat. He sees her for who she really is: A woman who values herself above almost anything, a woman who loves and seeks the finer things in life, a woman who uses her intelligence to make others do her bidding. She is his counterpart. This makes him the man for Scarlett. He’s the only guy we see who is capable of holding his own against her. Furthermore, he challenges her both to be kinder to others and to be honest about what she wants. He never agrees with her unless he genuinely thinks she’s right. He doesn’t use his intelligence against her in the way she uses hers against every man she meets. Furthermore, he’s the only guy who makes her pulse pound–he believes she’s capable of great passion and he gives her that in a time when sexual pleasure was considered a sin for women. Yes, he’s capable of great assholery but he’s also the guy who sees her toes tapping beneath her widow’s weeds and, though he knows it will shock all at the bazaar, he makes sure Scarlett can dance.
Heather: For me, as a binary function, Rhett is neither complete dreamboat nor total douchebag. But if we’re grading on a scale, he falls more toward the dreamboat end of the spectrum. He does, of course, have his moments of douchieness. It’s this complexity I believe that makes him attractive to me.
Rhett is basically a war profiteer. He runs blockades, partly I believe for sport, partly for the money, and is quite monetarily successful. I love that he is unabashed about being motivated by self-interest rather than the “grand cause” of the war the other Southerners in the story believe in. I love his self-awareness and that he recognizes in Scarlett a kindred spirit.
I think it’s this recognition that allows him to abandon Scarlett on the way out of Atlanta. He knows she’s a strong, capable woman and he knows that she will do whatever it takes to survive. In this respect, like attracts like. He challenges her and helps bring out the strength she has hidden.Plus, there’s something to be said for his courtly manners. Though I believe he would probably argue the point with me and inform me that he’s no gentleman. And when he says, “You should be kissed, and often, and by somebody who knows how?” I swoon every time.
Maggie: One of the difficulties with books like GWTW or Rebecca is that movie and book become almost interchangeable. That line, delivered by Clark Gable, is swoon worthy. (In fairness, he can make most lines swoon worthy :-) The book has a slightly different scene.
“Scarlet, you need kissing badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. All your beaux have respected you too much, though God knows why, or they have been too afraid of you to really do right by you. The result is you are unendurably uppity. You should be kissed and by somebody who knows how.”
Frankly, I’d have walked away with three points from that conversation.
1)I’m unendurably uppity?
2) That’s what’s wrong with me????
3) Can my beaux respect me too much – and what the heck do you mean, God knows why? Are you saying I don’t deserve respect???
Maybe I’ve grown too used to modern men :-)
Mary: I think he is both. He is not just nice to children, he is also nice, gentlemanly and generous to other women (Melanie and Belle Watling for example). Scarlett began as a brat and grew into a selfish woman. We finally see some introspection at the very end of the book, but other than her looks, there is not much to recommend as far as Scarlett goes. She is strong. She is resilient. But I never quite got what Rhett saw in her, other than a hope and a promise. While I agree that Rhett leaving Scarlett to fend for herself when Atlanta is burning was pretty bad, he was not just going to be a soldier…his blockade running was much more important than that in the grand scheme of the war since the South was so short on supplies. His actions benefited more than just being a soldier. I think he also saw it as a way to actually win some respect from Scarlett. She would not have really given him any for just being an escort. She would have just continued to rail at him and call him a coward for abandoning the “great cause.” I think his actions were to show Scarlett he did have some convictions even if they came too late to do any good. He could be callous and cruel, but I think in his mind he was trying to make Scarlett grow up and face reality. I don’t think at his core he was a cruel man, but he was like the guy who sticks the girl’s pigtail in the inkwell…being annoying to get attention.
Heather: I agree, Mary. One of the scenes that sticks in my mind is him giving Mammy the petticoat.
Mary: And Mammy loved him.
Caz: I still err on the side of his not qualifying as a dreamboat, but others have reminded me about something I forgot to say yesterday, which is that douchebag or not, one of the things Rhett does so well is to bring out the best – as well as some of the worst – in Scarlett. He sees through her and past her pretty face, which is not something other men do – and he deliberately provokes her because he knows she’s got more guts than a simpering miss and wants her to admit to it and use them, if that makes sense.
I agree with what Dabney says about him being the only man who could handle her!
Now it is your turn – what do you think of Rhett- dreamboat or douchebag?
Maggie AAR
I think theres too much over analysis on a story that should be taken for what it is…a n epic rich tale set in the south about a protagonist with gumption and the different people that surround her. Her relationship with Rhett Butler may seem sexist and abusive to some but secretly women desire their passion. If Mitchell wanted the characters to hate one another she wouldn’t have even bothered. Gone with the Wind is a novel she wrote at whim in her spare time. She dudnt intend for it to be a grand, epic and symbolic tale.
Absolutely not a dream boat! It may just be that I’m not prone to male charms (I far prefer Scarlett if you catch my drift) but by god is he awful! Not only does he abandon her and make rude comments about respect but he threatens to crush her skull “like a walnut” Rhett Butler is borderline abusive to her even if he does accept her for her flaws. He spends the end of the book turning everyones opinions against her. I’m nit sure how many people have read the sequel but I’m sitting here with only 50 pages left, begging for Rhett to grow up and get over himself. He’s dramatic and tosses Scarlett around at whims. I agree that he treats her like a toy, gets bored and moves on to something new, leaving her alone. In the sequel she grows to be more happy, loving, generous and finds less worth in money once she is away from Rhett and he doesn’t know her whereabouts. It’s only when he finds her again that she starts to slip back into her old ways but she never fully does. He is an inconsiderate prick. That being said, if he can grow the hell up and treat her right then I think they should get back together. Ideally, thats the best option. Scarlett has had her chracter growth. Now it’s Rhett’s turn.
I’ve always thought Rhett was a dreamboat – since my mother bought me the book on my 13th birthday. But in the last few years (I’ve read the book or large swaths of it at least 20 times, and I’ve seen the movie 5-6 times) I’ve started questioning my unequivocal devotion to Rhett.
I don’t have a problem with his joining the army – he was, as someone above wrote, following his own code of honor, and once the South was bloodied, disillusioned and practically beaten, he couldn’t help but come to its rescue.
And I don’t have a problem with the staircase scene – I don’t think it was rape. I feel like it was his last ditch effort to get through to her. He wasn’t the rapey type – he didn’t need to be bc he could have sex whenever he wanted. Hello Belle! And remember he behaved as a gentleman to Scarlett once she said no more sex. For years. So he didn’t seem to have a problem with “no means no.” But that scene does raise the question of their previous sex life. Was that night the first time Scarlett experienced an orgasm, and if so, why? Rhett has a way with women and presumably a wealth of sexual experience – so why would this be her first orgasm as the book suggests? Why wouldn’t he have been giving her awesome sex from the get go? Thoughts? I’m confused.
So my devotion to Rhett started to dwindle with his never-ending cageyness about revealing his true feelings to Scarlett. It drove me crazy and made me respect him a wee bit less bc I see it as emotional cowardice on his part. He was how much older/more mature than Scarlett? He knew her better than she knew herself? So then he should have known that she was emotionally closed off and dense. His push/pull feelings – mocking her one minute, teasing her the next – sent mixed signals. No wonder she didn’t know what to think. And wouldn’t he know, since he was good at reading people, as the book claims many times over, that she too would be wary or scared of confessing her true feelings to him? And here’s the thing, Rhett hid his true feelings and when things got tough – he took off. He left after their night of passion for a week. Then he left her for another 3 months with Bonnie. He would have left again if she hadn’t told him about the pregnancy. But the minute Scarlett realized her true feelings for Rhett, as Melanie lay dying, she ran as fast as she could in order to tell him. Say what you will about her, but Scarlett’s no coward.
And I feel like Rhett was always punishing Scarlett for not loving him. Except she never lied to him when she accepted his proposal. He knew she didn’t love him when he decided to marry her. Yes, it was a gamble, yes he thought he could change that, but then he took it out on her when he realized it wasn’t happening. I’m not sure I think that was fair of him. You can’t punish someone for not loving you when they’ve told you truthfully how they feel and you went ahead anyway. Would he have preferred she lied to him like the simpering southern belle that he mocked her for and hated?
And then there’s the hypocrisy. He wants and encourages her to throw away societal norms – but then changes the game after she does. I didn’t like that he turned the old guard against her – if he loved her he would have had her back. And I didn’t like that he tried to turn Bonnie against her. It’s not a zero sum game. The child’s love for her mother doesn’t detract from her love for her father.
Anyhoo, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Going now to read the damn book again.
Rhett is absolutely a dreamboat! A complicated, intriguing, always reassuring, glass-half-full hero. Hating Rhett because he left Scarlett and joined the Army? Doesn’t he get credit for getting her (and Melanie and the baby) out of Atlanta before Sherman came, and as the scavengers were looting anything left? He somehow found a horse and buggy to rescue her, and knew her well enough to know that she would get to Tara. In the movie, you can see his mind changing as he sees the broken solders marching rag-tag out of town. He loved Scarlett, and understood her better than anyone in her life. Melanie understands him and his worth, and they have a mutual respect for each other, although they are absolute opposites, Ashley was the one who was disgustingly duplicitous through the entire story. He leads Scarlett on over and over, and never is absolutely faithful to Melanie, He is weak and idealistic at a time when strength and clear-headedness would have been immensely helpful in keeping food in everyone’s mouths. Rhett sees Scarlett for who she is the first time he sees her. They are so much alike, and if not for Scarlett’s obsession with a man who would have never made her happy, he would have loved her as she needed. Every man in her life warned her about the differences between her and Ashley – her father, Rhett, even Ashley himself. How many times did Rhett rescue her, or try to get between her and disaster? Read the book again with that in mind, and Rhett’s love for her becomes even more obvious.: getting her out of Atlanta, keeping Ashley out of trouble when Frank was killed, knowing that if she didn’t attend Melanie’s party, she would be forever outcast. The trip up the stairs after Scarlett’s scandalous behavior with Ashley was a final attempt to convince her that Ashley was not the man she needed. It is said that Margaret Mitchell based the character of Rhett on George Trenholm, the dashing blockade runner of the Confederacy, whose brains and beauty were legendary. His true story is worth the research!
I saw the movie first, in a theater when I was about 11. That would have been 1966. Loved it!
I read the book a couple of years later. It was a much simpler time and I was almost entirely ignorant of sex and adult relationships in general. I took the characters at face value and didn’t think too deeply about all the undercurrents.
But I read the book several times over the next 15 years, and then when I was around 30 it was once again in theaters. I had befriended a young woman of about 19, and she was completely unfamiliar with the story, so I took her to the show. We were blown away by Scarlett’s resolve and strength, a bit shocked by her cunning, and amazed by her unending level of denial. But once again, I loved it. (She and I are still best friends, btw. And if you ever get the opportunity to see the movie on the big screen, you should.)
Rhett and Scarlett are not very nice people, they are all about their own needs and their own survival. Rhett understood that, but Scarlett never really did. She persisted in seeing herself as a good woman thwarted by others. They could never have been good partners for anyone else, but they were perfect for one another. Together, they just might have won that ghastly war!
I was never bothered by the staircase scene or even by the slavery because it happened. I hate that it (slavery) happened, but denying it won’t make it go away. In the book the enslaved people are treated far better than they likely were in real life, a bit like feeble-minded but beloved children. I’m sure the truth was much more malevolent. I’ve encountered lots of people over the years who feel that the book is about slavery, but it isn’t. It’s about Scarlett, and to lesser degrees Rhett, Ashley, and Melanie.
Is the book racist? Yes. It was written in a time when racism was barely acknowledged in white society, it just was, I grew up on the tail end of that society, in a very racist family, so I recall well the toxic but unthinking attitudes of a great many white Americans. When Mitchell wrote this book in the 1930s it was just a given that people of color were inferior to whites. So it would have been impossible for her to have filtered that out of her book entirely.
As mature adults, I think Rhett and Scarlett would have continued to have a somewhat fractious relationship (he did love to needle her!), but I also think that they would have respected one another and been loyal. They also would have burned up the sheets. I’m not sure Scarlett could ever have bonded with any future children, but Rhett had that covered. He clearly loved kids, and once he got past Bonnie’s death a bit more, he would have wanted more children. Now, I always felt Bonnie was a spoiled and stubborn hellion in training, so the rest of the Butler family might have been cut from the same cloth. Rhett would have admired contrariness in his kids, but Scarlett would have pretended to be scandalized I think.
Anyway, I would not have much liked the Butlers, but they were tough, independent survivors at a time when that sort of person was much needed in the south.
I’m not bothered by the sweep up the stairs scene. I think, at the time, it was a way to show that Scarlett had a passionate nature she didn’t understand. Like many things from earlier eras, I wouldn’t be comfortable with it today but, in the original context, it works. I don’t feel the same way about the elision of slavery in the film but the sex scene is OK with me.
I loved reading Rhett and Scarlett when I first read the book–I confess I’ve never re-read it although I’ve seen the movie several times. There are so so many characters in fiction that I wouldn’t want to hang out with but love experiencing on the page or the screen.
I’m 24, and I just finished reading it for the first time two days ago. Then, I watched the movie, and enjoyed it. Scarlett’s biggest flaws were that she was willfully ignorant, manipulative, and poor at introspection. Rhett was a coward who was afraid to let Scarlett love him and vice versa, so he covered up his insecurities by first trying to buy her love, dropping hints, forcing himself on her, being cruel, and/or running away. Oh, he wasn’t a physical coward, but an emotional one? Definitely. By the end, he still can’t take full
responsibility for his cowardice, and completely blames Scarlett for their problems. She’s not completely blameless in their marriage. Marrying him when she thought she loved someone else, withholding sex, and being needlessly cruel to him about Bonnie’s death are all of Scarlett’s faults. However, Rhett was too much of a coward to tell Scarlett he still cared about her after they got married, which resulted in needless cruelty on his part as well when Scarlett didn’t pick up the hint. He talks about how he “won’t risk his heart a third time” by the end of the novel in their last conversation right as he leaves her, but he never really risked his heart in the first place.