It’s December! Snow! Winter! And three very cool weeks of holiday. Siiigh.
Of course, December also means Christmas. Which means good food (mmm), and parties (excellent), and spending time with family (hurrah). It also means, fortunately or unfortunately, gift season.
I don’t know that I’ve ever been given a gift that I absolutely hated, but then I’ve also been lucky to have friends and family who are, I think, eminently reasonable. Doesn’t fit? Here’s the gift receipt and exchange it. Don’t like it? We’re not offended – here’s the gift receipt and exchange it. Really don’t know what to give me? Gift cards are excellent, but dude, since you asked, give me cash any day.
Maybe it’s my Chinese heritage, but I don’t mind giving and receiving cash, especially when I have no idea what gifts would be appropriate, to ask for or to give. When it comes to giving gifts to younger relatives, I don’t think giving cash is tacky, and nor do I think receiving cash meant that the giver had no time to shop for me, or doesn’t care. In fact, cash is the default for many Chinese occasions (those red envelopes bring much joy to many a young Chinese heart), and when you think about it, cash is by far the most practical solution. It may not be the most emotionally thoughtful, but since it’s the thought that counts, why not give something that everyone can use?
So I sat up and cheered when I saw this article in the Toronto Star. In the article, Peggy Mackenzie outlines 8 excellent reasons to give cash instead of gift cards, particularly when it’s an adult giving to a child or teenager. Scenario #1: Your son receives five $20 gift cards to five different stores, but she hates stores A and B, and $20 isn’t enough to get what she really wants at stores C-E. But what if she’d received 5 $20 bills? Then she can do what she wants, where she wants. And unlike some gift cards, cash never, ever goes out of date.
What do you think? Is giving cash to younger relatives/siblings totally tacky? Or is this something you do or would consider doing?
– Jean AAR
Well—I agree. My parents decided, when we became adults, that they would do exactly that, give money. My mother was not a shopper and had no clue for gifts for us, so it was easier for her and and we never gave it a second thought. Eventually, my husband’s parents did the same thing. When we began having children, both my sister and I made a fun day with my mother by taking her shopping with us, then going to the toy store, buying gifts for the kids that would be wrapped by us but put under the grandparents’ tree. Afterwards, we spent a leisurely lunch with her. My mother loved this and we did, too, for several reaosns. We enjoyed her company, the toys were those we knew our kids could use or wanted and my parents didn’t have to obsess over what to get them.
When my kids went off to college, I lost a part of their lives as to their wants and likes in certain things. They needed money, most of all. Each year I would get something small (bath oils, etc), but the main gift was money. I asked constantly if they had other suggestions and they honestly said the money is great. I no longer ask; this is what they get. I still try for including a few wrapped token gifts, though.
As for the adults in the extended family, we all decided years ago that the gift giving was for the kids and our parents. We no longer exchange gifts and life around Christmas is much less stressy in that area. I concentrate on preparing the meal and participating in the gift-giving tree and adopted family at church. I donate to the Capuchin Monastery in Detroit in honor of my parents and brother. We have so much and there are those who have so little. This works for me.
Jean, this is a long running debate between my sister and myself. She HATES to shop, but strangely enough feels obligated to torture herself each Christmas to buy things for us. I think she feels that the sacrifice of shopping is part of the gift. I on the other hand, LOVE shopping, but when kids turn about 12-13, their tastes change so much from the little kids they were last year,( trying on the adults they are slated to become), that I have switched to money as a gift…and they all love it.
I tried gift cards, but the first year I gave gift cards to a gas station that by January had withdrawn from our area. The person I gave the card to had to drive about 15 miles to use it. I was very embarrassed, and vowed never to do that to someone again, ergo CASH.
I have a niece who loves reading as much as I, and I bought her a Kindle last year. But she too, is in that nebulous teen category, and I give her Amazon gift cards for her reading pleasure. Her sister is an avid video gamer, so she gets a local game store gift card. But unless I know for certain a person’s preference…they get cash.
I do a Christmas Pajama Party Breakfast. And we have a ball. This year I found a cute way to fold the bills into shirts. So the cash recipients are getting money shirts. So, between the Angel Tree at church, the gift cards I know my two nieces will like, and cash for everyone else, Christmas is once again a joy and a blessing and I can’t wait.
It’s beginning to look a like lot Christmas :-)
I think giving cash is kind of tacky, but gift cards are totally cool. Love getting them myself. A friend of mine is Jewish and I learned, however, that the appropriate gift at bar or bat mitzvah time is cash — so I gave cash.
I think gift cards would be great, too, if you knew the person receiving it was going to use it and not forget about it. I just found a gift card last week that my husband received from someone at work last Christmas. It was an American Express card. I just took it and am going to use it, because after a year they begin deducting $2 a month service charge. He would just let it go and it would probably be all used up with non-usage charges.
My mother-in-law has lost some of the ones we gave her and we found a few when we were moving her recently to an independent home. Yuck, that’s money totally wasted. I may as well have given her money and torn it up right in front of her. It’s money literally thrown away.
As for my daughters, they shop at so many different stores that I wouldn’t even know which one to choose. They enjoy the idea of going to whatever store after Christmas for the sales and money allows them lots of choices. But for those who will use the cards, I agree that they are great.
I much prefer giving gift cards, usually from Barnes & Noble, because if a person can’t find a movie, book, cd or whatever from that store that they like, well then they are super, super picky.
@Tee – Charity giving as a gift is a great idea; I should do it more often.
Re AMEX gift cards – My mother received a Visa gift card a few weeks ago, and it was THE most troublesome thing on the planet. It would charge us monthly fees after 6 months. You had to sign in online to view your balance. You couldn’t do a split payment unless you knew how much you had. Sure, if they’d stuffed the money in an envelope and wrapped it up it would have been a hell of a lot tackier – but man, it would have been easier.
@VictoriaS – See, the gas station idea is exactly why I lean more and more towards cash. Gift cards to places like B&N or Nordstrom/Wal-Mart are practically foolproof. But try something practical like a gas station? Boom.
@Sandy – Can’t say I complain when people give me gift cards. However, I have occasionally encountered stores who only allow you to exchange unwanted gift items for a credit note, and if that happens to be at a store that I don’t usually shop at, then it sits in my wallet for ages.
@LeeB – I agree. The other thing is that Chapters (the Canadian B&N) has really expanded their gift section, and I have to say their stuff is really nice now. (And I don’t just say that because I work there). So there really is something for everyone. Yeah, a Chapters gift card, if I have nothing else to get, is probably my default.
I’ve no problem at all with giving or receiving cash as a gift. I’m fine with gift cards as well, but only if they aren’t overly restrictive (i.e. an Amazon gift certificate is great, but one for a particular shop I don’t often shop in and where I can spend the GC only in 1 go is not so good).
You might find this article interesting:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/07/magazine/07wwln_freak.t.html
‘The financial-services research firm TowerGroup estimates that of the $80 billion spent on gift cards in 2006, roughly $8 billion will never be redeemed — “a bigger impact on consumers,” Tower notes, “than the combined total of both debit- and credit-card fraud.” ‘
The article also mentions the Scroogeiest economics paper I’ve ever read: “The Deadweight Loss of Christmas.” I absolutely loved it!
That was an interesting article, Rosario, partly becomes it confirms my occasional experiences with the cards, both personally and with other people. There are some cards that probably work better than others (for readers, a card from a bookstore or for do-it-yourselfers, from Home Depot). But, generally, the rest of them may not be so wonderful, after all. You have to know your recipient, then go with what’s best for them and their time and tastes. And you have to watch those hidden costs. Sometimes they’re tacked on in the beginning, sometimes at the end. Some of them have monthly charges beginning after a certain date (usually a year). And, as the article said, many are never even redeemed. Totally a waste of money on the giver’s end of it.
Just thought of an example. We were at a Mexican restaurant near us. An elderly couple approached our table and offered us a gift card they had for $50. I couldn’t understand why they were doing this. They said they’ve already used theirs here and their kids always give them restaurant gift cards for Christmas and other celebrations. This one was already a year old and they said it was time to give it away before it accrued costs. That was great for us, but not so great for the original giver of that card to their parents.
Jean,
I agree that a gift card to a store you don’t shop in isn’t much of a gift. Shame on the person who bought that for you.
I guess I think that gift etiquette should extend to gift cards, as well. Give a kid a Toys R Us gift card and they (and their parents are very happy). One from Beyda’s Lad and Lassie (an actual store I wonder about every time I go past it) would not.
Take a little care when you buy a gift card. Be thoughtful.
@Rosario – Thanks for the article; it’s very interesting!
@Sandy – I completely agree. A gift card is always appreciated; but a thoughtful one makes it a true gift. (Out of curiosity, I googled Beyda’s Lad and Lassie, and I’m not totally sure what it sells. Kids sports clothing?)
I love to give and receive gift cards. I’m not giving them to strangers. I know which stores, movies, restaurants, etc. my recipients like to frequent and give appropriate cards. They love them. And I know they use them. If I thought they would go to waste, I’d go another route for some people. Like my boss…
A thoughtful gift is still my preferred gift, but it’s not always easy to do.
Cash is okay in some instances, but is my least favorite.
Beyda’s is a store for mythical grandparents to shop for mythical children. Lots of blazers and bow ties in the windows, along with plaid skirts and knee socks. I think, in addition to completely anachronistic clothing, they also have school uniforms.
I know it is more practical, and I also know that for some it’s preferable, but something about giving cash as a holiday gift just seems cold to me. Perhaps it’s because I think gifts should be a treat given to someone, and I would guess that often times any cash gifts get applied towards paying bills. I suppose if that’s what makes the recipient happy, then that’s a successful gift. Still…
I do like giving gift cards even though it seems kind of like a retail scam, especially after reading those articles. I think if you put thought into which GCs are most appropriate for the person you are gifting to, then you minimize the chances it will go unused. For example, we are giving my daughter a Kindle Fire for Christmas, so I’ve suggested to her grandma that a Kindle GC would be welcome. Also, with teenagers, giving GCs to stores they like to shop at is nice for parents as well because it means less “can I have some money?” appeals that come with every trip to the mall.
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And your point is?
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