Recently, while at a talk about the business of romance, I found myself talking with a very enthusiastic retired rabbi/marriage counselor who said he thought the reason women loved romance was because it made them anticipate sex/caring/love in a fictional context. He explained that neuroscientists have discovered that the anticipation of sex is more erotic than sex itself. I said I thought there was a bit more to it than that. However, it is true that preparing for sexual and romantic connections packs a powerful thrill.

This is one reason why I’m a fan of lingerie and toys. The process of procuring, donning, or planning to use such things is erotic and helps connect us to our best expectations for joy and pleasure. I’ve written here before about what I fan I am of Adam and Eve and when they approached me about writing another column for Valentine’s Day, I was happy to say yes.

Here are few things that I’d like for this Valentine’s Day. If these products or any others in the Adam and Eve catalog appeal to you, Adam and Eve is offering 50% of almost any single item and free shipping in the US and Canada to AAR readers. Use the discount code AAR.

Sexy lingerie… that actually looks good, is easy to get on and off, and is comfy. So many of us love the idea of lingerie but the reality is too often itchy, impractical, and involves tiny strips of fabric that flatter no one we’ve ever actually met. This corset isn’t any of those things. It’s made for real women and is remarkably comfortable.

While a massage isn’t always foreplay, it can be. Many women–and more than a few men–take a little time to get in the sexy times zone. We recommend this kit–the oils smell lovely and feel great on dry winter skin. Turn the lights down low, put on some Marvin Gaye (Is there a sexier song than “Let’s Get It On“?), and bring out the oil!

Let’s be real–there’s almost no sex that lube doesn’t improve. And if your bedroom adventures include oral as well as penetrative sex, it’s pretty fabulous if your lube tastes good. This one does. (We like the caramel.) And it’s safe for all your toys too.

And then there’s grooming. Whether you’re in the utterly bare camp or in the bush is best camp, most women do some sort of shaving/waxing down there. But most shaving stuff is made for guys. Women need equipment made just for them and that’s where this shaver is the bomb. It’s safe, specific, and even allows for creativity. (Stencils!)

Sometimes having the perfect pillow matters. (And not just for sleep!) This one meets so many needs. It’s portable, easy to use, and makes many already pleasurable activities even more so. There’s a reason it’s one of Adam and Eve’s top sellers.

Sometimes it’s hard to figure out how to push your envelope. This kit is a winner if you’d like to try something new. The Weekend In Bed Lovers Bondage Kit has everything you need to try out a baby bit of bondage. I especially like the feather tickler!

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Impenitent social media enthusiast. Relational trend spotter. Enjoys both carpe diem and the fish of the day.