I love love songs. From medieval ballads like Greensleeves to power ballads like Sweet Child of Mine there is nothing more romantic than a truly heartfelt musical tribute. The lyrics to these tunes are often descriptions of what we want our own affairs of the heart to resemble. Can’t Smile Without You lets my lover know they are the reason for the goofy grin on my face. I Just Called To Say I Love You brings to mind the wonder that love can bring to the everyday in simple ways. I’ll Be There For You reminds us that love means not having to carry every burden yourself. Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mann captures how we see our beloved.
But there is a downside to the love song and that is those songs whose lyrics just plain creep me out. Stalker songs have been with us almost from the beginning such as I Will Follow Him by Peggy March. “I love him, I love him, I love him and where he goes I’ll follow” sounds like devotion. Then you realize she decided to start following him around after he just touched her hand and you wonder if the checkout boy at the grocery store might have gotten the wrong idea when you fumbled the change and maintained hand contact for a full ten seconds or so. Carly Simon’s You Belong To Me reminds us just how hard (and dangerous) breaking up can be when the other person refuses to let go. James Blunts You’re Beautiful reminds us that we aren’t safe even in a crowded place. Lionel Richie’s Hello lets us know that our neighbors can hear us when we walk by. One Way or Another by Blondie lets us know that some people just won’t take no for an answer.
None of these songs get my vote for creepiest though. That honor goes to Michael Buble’s Save the Last Dance For Me. In this little ditty a man describes a woman having a wonderful time at a party. She is dancing with the guy who “gave her the eye” and smiling every smile “for the man who held your hand neath the pale moon light”. Then she is told:
But don’t forget who’s takin’ you home
And in whose arms you’re gonna be
So darlin’ save the last dance for me
Baby don’t you know I love you so
Can’t you feel it when we touch
I will never, never let you go
I love you oh so much
This is either one incredibly troubled relationship, in which the woman is clearly very interested in other men or this guy is planning to nab some unsuspecting woman at the end of this dance. Either way, there is a clear threat implied in the lyrics above. Whatever this girl does, she’s not leaving that dance with anybody else. While I like the music to this number, the words always have me switching stations. I’m afraid for the woman it was written to. She could be lying in a shallow, unmarked grave as I type.
These love lyrics gone arwy have an upside. They supply us a good laugh via You Tube. Do you have any love songs that make you that tiny bit uncomfortable? Any lyrics that ever made you say – that doesn’t sound like love? Any that made you think “what the . . . “?