Blasts from our Past: Purple Prose Parodies

For years, All About Romance ran a very amusing Purple Prose Parody Contest. We thought we’d share some of the entries. These two are culled from the 1999 Contest.


from Carol Taylor (written as an homage to Dara Joy)

Knight of a Thousand Volts

Cherry was simply following directions on how to test the batteries by pressing the little dot on the package when she felt herself spinning into a dark void.

“Bam, bam, bam. . . .”

A monotonous and annoying sound forced her awake. Shocked to see the Energizer Bunny setting on her chest she rubbed her eyes and took another peek.

“Where am I?”, she demanded.

“Dry Cell! You scamp! She’s mine!”, a male voice declared.

Cherry watched in amazement as the Energizer Bunny hopped off her chest and scurried off. Electricity crackled all around. Cherry could smell ozone as if a […]