notromantic Although romance has departed far from its more formulaic patterns in the 1970s and earlier, becoming more diverse and thus more forgiving of ingredients that break the mold, still there are situations that are considered just too unromantic to be included, as common as such situations may be in real life. Let’s liberate them, and give them some space here!

  • Nate, however hard you try, I don’t think I will orgasm tonight. Would you mind just getting to it?
  • I. Really. Hate. Public. Proposals. What are you thinking of, putting me in this position?
  • When was the last time you changed your socks, Jack?
  • Actually, getting oral sex doesn’t do anything for me. Could you please just kiss my neck instead? Mmmmm…
  • Zoey, I hate to give you this ultimatum, but either your dog is out of the bedroom when we have sex, or I’m out of here.
  • I am deeply flattered that after you shagged women by the dozens, you now claim I’m your one true love. Still, you’ll have to go to a clinic to be checked for STDs before this goes any further.
  • Lovely diamond! Do you have a certificate to prove it’s no blood diamond?
  • Darling, I love to cuddle before going to sleep, but then it’s separate halves of the bed, and separate blankets. No spooning for me, thank you very much!
  • Heather, would you mind removing your make-up before going to bed? I don’t fancy changing the pillow-cases every morning.

You are cordially invited to add your ideas!

 – Rike Horstmann

About the author

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I enjoy spending as much time as I can between the covers of a book, traveling through time and around the world. When I'm not having adventures with fictional characters, I'm an attorney in Virginia and I love just hanging out with my husband, little man, and the cat who rules our house.