When my husband and I were first dating, we’d have this satisfying conversation about relational deal breakers. (We’d proverbially pat ourselves on the back because we, of course, did not have each other’s “I simply couldn’t be with someone who had/was _______________.” That’s how humans work–we find it easy to enumerate flaws. We don’t tend to be as quick to identify strengths.

Last week’s ask@AAR about whether or not it’s OK for lovers to lie to one another made me assess how important honesty is to me in a lover. It matters to me sure, but it wouldn’t be the one thing my partner has to have. For me–and I don’t think this reflects especially well–it is intelligence. By this I mean that combination of education and smarts that make up being really smart. (And yes, Dr. Feelgood is literally the smartest person I know.)

Now, luckily in real life we don’t have to settle for just one quality. BUT. For the purposes of this discussion, if your ideal significant other had to have one attribute, what would it be? And is that also the one characteristic your dream romance novel partner would have? And if not, why not?

Dabney Grinnan
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Impenitent social media enthusiast. Relational trend spotter. Enjoys both carpe diem and the fish of the day.