Top Ten Clichés About Romance Novels (and Romance Readers) I Never Want to Hear Again

fabioA few articles with the usual dribble have appeared in various media over the past few weeks.  I’m not going to link to them (well, except to one truly extree speshul example of idiocy), because we see this kind of crap all the time and I’m not going to give them any extra hits.

But we all know the clichés, right?

10. Romance Novels are porn for women. Ah, yes, that old classic still resonates with idiots who love to sing it. It’s an oldie but a goodie that has sunk to the number ten spot because there is a new spin on this one that’s far more amusing. (See number one.)

9.  The only ones who read romance are _______________(Pick one: Old Maids, fatties, blue hairs) too stupid to read anything else. Hey, if you’re stupid enough to believe that blanket clichés are in any way accurate, how ’bout this one: Any guy who reads literary fiction must have…limitations if you know what I mean. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more)

8.  Women who read romances are sexually repressed ____________(Pick One: Old Maids, fatties, blue hairs). See above.

7.  All romance novels are the same. What is there to say to this one, except maybe, well, you know read one or two before you make a judgment.

6. You women just love those ripping bodices. Hey, pal, do you even know what a bodice is? I thought not.

5.  Romance novels are anti-feminist. You know what I think is anti-feminist? Women who judge other women without knowing what the hell they’re talking about.

4. Romance novels lead girls to have unrealistic expectations about life. Okay, well with the exception of those hardcore dreamers still waiting for the discovery of time travel so they can tootle on back to the Regency, I think it’s safe to say we have  a handle on this.  It’s fiction.  We know this.

3.  Anyone can write a romance novel. I’ve heard this from the usual idiot faction, but also from people who should know better.

2. Writing a romance novel is a quick and easy way to earn some fast bucks. (See number 3.)  Absolutely!  Get right on that, idiots!  It’s a really productive way to spend months – even years!

And now taking the top spot is a new level of idiocy recently featured on a Salt Lake City TV station’s Web site:

1. Romance Kills. Yes, we women are more motivated by romance than men (and a big duh to that one) and we’re releasing the same deadly and addictive brain chemicals when we read romance as men do when viewing porn. The author offers some helpful tips to reduce your addiction and they’re just too good not to share:

Break the Addiction
  • Commit to stop reading romance books
  • Commit to working on your relationship, if you’re in one
  • Find a different hobby, or find a new genre of books to enjoy
  • Invest in your real life, not fictional characters

Much merriment was had at the hashtag #romancekills and it’s worth a read if you haven’t yet.  The one heartening thing about this bull is that so many stood up to call it bull. And you have to laugh, right? It’s the only way to react to this kind of horse crap.

– Sandy AAR

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