trueblood_2_gallery_primaryIf you haven’t watched this week’s season two True Blood debut and you plan to at any time in the future, stop reading.

Seriously.

Because I have a massive bug up my butt and I need to vent.

Seriously.

So, be forewarned that there are spoilers galore after the cut…

Well, congrats to Alan Ball and crew for getting season two off to a really big whimper.

The dead body is the spooky-ass drugstore cashier exorcist?

Lafayette isn’t dead?

Tara’s mother is still around?

Could it really be true that somehow, someway they still have the impression that Tara, her mother, Jason, Andy, and Lafayette are more interesting to viewers than Sookie, Bill, Eric, and Sam?  Because truth is I found a good portion of the show – a major portion of the show – flat out boring.

And along the lines of  I-really-was-hoping-the-peripheral-distraction-stuff-was-over-and-done-with-because-I’ve-had-it-up-to-here-with-all-the-Jason-doggie-style-sex, there is some truly disturbing intelligence out there on the Net.  I mean really disturbing.  (If you don’t want possible season two spoilers, stop reading now.)

Seriously.

Still here?

Reports are that there is going to be “homoerotic tension” between Eric and Lafayette. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

That is just so freakin’ wrong.  On so many levels.  I sputter.  I spew.  I am totally pissed off.

On a positive note (and I don’t have too many) Jason’s three-beat pause before coming up with the word “think” was laugh out loud funny.  And the idea of Eric getting his highlights done amidst vampire torture-land was also great.  And, even though I’m not on Team Bill, the Sookie-Bill love scene was lovely.  All in all, the last ten minutes made me remember the reasons I watched the show in the first place.

And I’ll admit the maenad has possibilities, as does Jason with the vampire-hater loonies.

But Lafayette and Eric?  I just so do not want to go there.  More distractions.  More wasted time.  More reasons to believe that Alan Ball and company are clueless about who their audience is and just what it is they want.  And it ain’t Lafayette and Eric.

Sigh.

-Sandy AAR